This is almost the nickname
for the unofficial mascot
at my community college
. His name, given to him by a pizza delivery boy
who was visiting a friend
, is The Beast
3/4 (read: The Beast and Three Quarters). The man is 6'2" tall, weighs at least 290lbs, and is bald on the top of his head with long, scraggly hair that hangs past his shoulders on the back and sides of his head. He has a thick, bushy mustache
and he wears glasses to top off his appearance. In proper lighting, he could very easily be mistaken for a beast
more unholy than The Beast
One of The Beast 3/4's trademarks is his backpack. It's a small backpack, even for someone of normal stature. Watching him put the thing on is horrifying. He can easily manage to slide his massive arm through the first loop, but he will wallow and flail about trying to get ahold of the second strap. After thirty seconds to a minute, he'll grab ahold of it, then slowly put his arm through the loop, obviously trying not to tear the tiny backpack to shreds. Once it's on, the fabric looks as if though it is on the verge of bursting, but he simply goes on his way, assured that his books and supplies will be safe. Although I won't go into detail, watching him get into a small seat is no less brutal.
Several legends have sprung up about The Beast 3/4 due to his beast-like appearance and mannerisms. It is said that his origins are not Hell, but actually someplace even more damnable: the Unnamed Place. If eye contact is made for more than a split second, you may turn to stone, much like the effects of a basilisk's gaze. If you are in the same room as him when he sneezes, there is a very good chance that your head might implode. When The Beast 3/4 speaks using his true voice, is is thought that the laughter of Satan can be heard, and that the very mouth of Hell opens, ready to release a thousand evil spirits. All in all, he is not made out to be a nice guy.
Of course, the purpose of this writeup isn't just to tell you about some silly myth and folklore, but rather, it's to tell you of the purity of imagination. As insane and far-fetched as all these legends are, they are still very creative and full of life. They demonstrate the power of the human imagination, even after childhood has passed us. I still can't help but wonder how such silly things get started, because I always assumed that adults remained so earthbound and mundane. Thankfully, they do not.