A theory I recently developed while hanging out in a local heavy metal club with some friends. Please do not take it serious.

Fact: Nice guys don't get chicks.

Fact: The girls proclaiming to like the smart, intelligent, sensible type of man always fall for the most rude, dumb macho asshole around.

Right here, right now a girl returned to her complete asshole of a ex-boyfriend.

Evil masterplan to get your dream girl (for those who are into metal):

  1. Grow your hair.
  2. If you already have long hair, stop washing and color it black.
  3. Start wearing leather and spike everything.
  4. Important: Stop laughing.
  5. Get drunk. Be a drunken asshole.
  6. Start playing in a band. Black metal is the best style for this purpose, as playing in a Black metal band does not require any kind of musical talent, and the pseudo-evil, satanic touch fascinates girls.
  7. If you got your girl, tell her she's ugly.
  8. Start messing around with other girls.
  9. Tell her they are better in bed than she is.

You don't think this will work? I'd doubt it, too, but reality proves different. She will stay with you forever, till you dump her. You should do this from time to time. Remember, it's good for your image and she will be happy to return if you ask her.

Maybe this fits into the pseudoscience meta node.