You eat babies. You piss in elevators. You don't recycle. You drink non-alcoholic beer. You spit on the homeless. You drive an SUV. You don't vote. You listen to N'SYNC. You run a multinational corporation. You use AOL. You kick puppies. You wear your socks to bed. You steal candy from children. You tailgate the elderly. You eat meat. You use CFCs. You spill oil on cute animals. You embezzle taxpayers' money. You leave the lid off the toothpaste. You leave the toilet seat up. You never have exact change. You talk about the weather. You help fund corrupt dictatorships. You prey on the insecurities of others. You manufacture biological weapons. You download illegal MP3s. You lie. You cheat. You always win at Monopoly. You don't care about the starving children in Africa. You don't floss. You belong to the 'church' of Scientology. You watch too much TV.