This brightly clad species is found everywhere and is the subject of much myth, debate, legend, and Onanisticbehaviour.

Habitat: The Sororitorious Girlectus, herefater known as SG congregates in large flocks-- especially prominent in Midwestern cornfields like Madison, Columbus, and Ann Arbor although they also can adapt to swamps and smog-laden biomes. They nest two to a node, sometimes one for more senior varietals, in large Colonial dwellings festooned with Archaic Greek Symbols which apparently hold great significance to this breed.

Field Markings:

The SG often displays a bright Golden crest-- in many cases with darker plumage closer to her cranium. Also observed are varied hues of Platinum, Red, Black, and Brown. To lure the male of her species the SG wears abbreviated garments often in leather or satin. Depending on the season, they also display spandex, cotton denim, and wool. In a bizarre pre-mating and pre-Algebra 2 ritual, the SG applies bright petrochemicals tested on puppies to her eyes, cheeks, and lips.

Field Behaviour:

This species is seldom seen outside the nest before noon unless disguised in ill-fitting gray sweats and a hat bearing archaic Greek letters. In the afternoons they can be found in large numbers on campus commons, in front of televisions, and at Baskin-Robbins. They also are frequently found in nuisance numbers in large indoor shopping malls where they curiously exchange small green slips for previously mentioned facial Petrochemicalsand abbreviated satin garments.

after sundown this species is normally found nesting two or more to a room in large colonial dwellings festooned with archaic Greek letters belonging to the male of her species. Here we observe frequent consumption of hops based beverages and random coupling; both of the procreative and non-procreative variety.


the SG is among the most prolific singers of any species throughout the world. Common songs include a warbled "Gawd, I hate this class", "noooo, you don't look fat in that, it's cute!" and "I hate it when this thong creeps up my ass" One observer overheard a particularly golden-crested SG singing "I wouldn't nest with that creepy Geology professor for an "A" even if he was hung like Ron Jeremy!" The SG has a strange habit of ending each verse of song in a raised pitch, even when not asking where the Party Ball and the Condoms are.


Most SG's have two weak dependent offspring 3.5 years apart. Their maternal behaviour is noted by limited attention and frequent abandonment of their offspring in front of Eminem videos while they non-procreatively mate in nests called "motels" with the pool boy or the tennis instructor, or sometimes both at once. Due to this coninual neglect their offspring frequenly grow up to spout monosyllabic nonsense like "I am the real Slim Shady", and "You want fries with that?" Much more field work needs to be finished for the scientific world to understand this species.