Shaving your crotch will NOT rid you of crab infestation

Shaving your crotch will NOT rid you of crab infestation. You may be told this in high school or college when you start to feverishly itch at your nether regions in class or in gym. You'll be pointed and teased at excessivly and someone might come up to you and mention shaving the excess hair down there will relieve the itching. But if in fact you HAVE been playing in some nasty bush recently, simply shaving won't solve any of your problems.

See, now what you have to do is go to the doctor's office. Not only must you sit in a waiting room with a bunch of other people who are just as sick as you (if not sicker), you must resist the urge to constantly scratch at your crotch. Either that or find a way to do it so no one notices.

Now, let me tell you about the time I had scabies, which is a bit different from crabs, but not really: They both itch like hell and require special medication you have to get a prescription for. I wasn't sure I had them, so I went to a health center to get checked out. I got a female doctor, which is good because I'm gay, so getting a male doctor can be uncomfortable if I start to get an erection.

Sidenote: Having crabs CAN quite possibly lower your libido because you become INCREDIBLY self-conscious about the itching thing.

She asked me what the problem was and I told her I might have been exposed to scabies and I needed a prescription. You'd be amazed at how fast she wrote it up and got me out that door, let me tell ya. Apparently its quite contagious, the same way crabs and lice is.

Anyway, once you've been to the doctor and you've acquired this "stuff", you have to apply it. It usually doesn't smell too good and it feels like slime. And you're required to wear it for around 8 hours, which means you have to sleep while wearing it.

Now, I'm under the impression that after you wash the crap off in the morning, some still stays in your skin to temporarily protect you from reinfection. I'm not a doctor, though, and everything2 is everything BUT a complete medical library, so don't take my word for it.

Next, you must wash ALL your clothes, bedsheets, plushies, etc in hot water. EVERYTHING with fabric that you've come in contact with MUST be washed. No exceptions. Anything that can't be washed, must be put in one or two plastic garbage bags and stowed away for a period of 5-6 days.

This is all an incredible pain in the ass to do, so just try to avoid it altogether. This means not playing bump-bump with people who are infected. You can usually see if someone has scabies by looking at their skin (mostly on the arms, thighs, and waist area) for pairs of zit-like things that itch usually at night. You can also get scabies between your fingers and on the palms of your hands which I hear is particularly nasty. Crabs are harder to look for because, as far as I know, they don't look like anything.

Just be aware of how much your sexual partner scratches him or herself between the legs. Or better yet, just make sure you don't sleep with someone who's slept with your entire town.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.