Fellatio. Performing oral sex on a male by licking and sucking the penis. Better blowjobs result in ejaculation and the best ones are given by individuals who swallow and don't stop sucking until the spasms have stopped.

two lips enclosing a penis,
suck, stroke, lap, tickle. tongue mapping

the measure of a man.
better than holy communion,

tongue extended... eager to receive
the cadence of pulsing flesh.

throat wide to the zesty thrust
of blood vessels afire.

a mouth cajoles the zenith of ecstasy
imminent explosion of ancestor elixir
A Swedish cocktail, of sorts, with a pedagogic twist.

In order to prepare the typical Blow Job you'll need:

 2 shot glasses
 4cl (about 1 oz) each of Rosie's Lime Juice and Baileys Irish Cream

Pour each liquor in its own glass.

Mix the liquors in your mouth,
experience the possibly novel consistence of the mixture,

As the mix curds, it assumes quite exactly, I am told by reliable sources, the consistence of human sperm.

Taste? Way too sweet for most real men.

Everything Bartender

type: shooter


preparation: Pour out a shot of coffee liquer (Kahlua, Bailey's, etc.), top with whipped cream.

notes: Traditionally, this libation is imbibed in a special manner, which one can infer from the name. The drinker leaves the drink on the bar or table, and with hands behind her back, engulfs the edge of the shot glass with her lips and lifts her head, tilting it back and swallowing.

As you can imagine, to drink one of these takes a special sort of skill. Blessings to those talented and brave enough to do it.

popular variation: Wrigley's Doublemint Blowjob



Pour Kahlua and Peppermint Schnapps into shot glass. Top with whipped cream.

Everything Bartender

One of the many avant-garde films created by Andy Warhol during the 1960's. The film is 41 minutes long, is silent, and is shot in black and white. Its subject? A blow job, of course... though all the explicitly erotic action takes place off-camera. The film consists of a single close-up of an anonymous young man's face as he is serviced by an off-camera partner.

The concept is great, and I'm sure the film is incredibly entertaining, which was probably a departure for Warhol, since some of his other films of this type included Empire, a single eight-hour shot of the Empire State Building, and Sleep, which was 321 minutes of of the nude body of sleeping poet John Giorno.

Sadly, this is all I can tell you about the film, because I have not actually seen it, and it is in all likelihood not even available on tape or DVD. To anyone who has had the opportunity to see this film, please tell us more about it!

kthejoker says I saw it at a gay and lesbian film festival in Houston—it was very riveting. It's all in slow motion, about 1/5 speed (making actual BJ about 8 minutes long)—it slows down even more at the moment of release. There are of course unfounded rumors that Warhol "took over" for the girl midway through the BJ—about halfway through you can tell that the "heavy action" has subsided for a bit, though that might just be fatigue or whatever. Someone gave a speech on Warhol as Homosexual Icon later in the day, but I didn't buy it, they gave a lot of analysis into the BJ being an empowering homosexual act but an objectifying heterosexual act... maybe they're right, though. Warhol was light years ahead of his time.

Ok, so there are already a few really good and informative instructions up, but there were a few things left out.
- Firstly, tie your hair up! Hair will 9/10 get in the way and be very annoying.
- Wear cherry coloured lip gloss. The cherry tones contrast with the colour of his dick, making it look better and lubricate your lips too.
- Keep a glass of water handy.

To begin with, if they are not hard yet, crouch between his legs and very gently stroke his inner thighs, then teasingly move onto the shaft and head with your fingertips. Concentrate on making it as tingly as possible, and remember your intention is to slightly tease and excite, not leave them waiting till the point of impatience. Then grab the base of the penis with your hand, and using a wide tongue, lick from the base up to the head. When your tongue touches the little hole on the top, leave it there for a second, then run it down under the head (most sensitive part) Smoothly yet firmly run your tongue along this part for a couple seconds. Now place your tongue wide and flat under the head, yet place the head in your mouth with your lips still not touching the dick, (as in your mouth is open but your tongue is on it) and breathe hotly onto the dick. It is a good idea to then look up into his eyes at this point. Then close your mouth over the head of the penis, making sure your lips are under the head.

Start to gently yet firmly suck on his dick, as if you are sucking on a really yummy lollie. (It is a good idea to suck on a lollie close to this event, for both practice and taste) Whilst you are sucking with your lips keep running your tongue over the dick. Sometimes it is better to use a considerable amount of firmness with your tongue and be gentler with your lips, as otherwise it can become very tiring. Whilst you are doing this move your head up and down the shaft. Many guys like to push down on your head and put their hand on your head, if that is uncomfortable for you don't stop, just remove their hand with a hand that is free. Remember whilst you're sucking to love the feel of his dick in your mouth, this is maybe one of the most important aspects. If you are not enjoying it he will not (fully) enjoy it either. (It is good for him if you make noises like you are eating the most orgasmic chocolate ever, but be subtle, dont over-do it.) Try to produce as much saliva in your mouth as possible also, a glass of water is often a good thing, (keep jerking whilst you sip) you can warm it up in your mouth and drizzle it over the dick if you are feeling a bit dry mouthed.

It is good to switch your positions up a bit, too stop things getting too repetitive. For example, if you are kneeling between his legs on the bed, switch to the side and continue, then change back. Also if you find yourself getting tired suck or lick the balls for a bit whilst you continue jerking with your other hand. Another tip, if you have big enough breasts, run them along the balls whilst you are sucking. This will drive him crazy. Also, if you gag don't stress, this apparently happens in porno's a bit and since men tend to be porn addicts it will remind them of this. (yes they are really weird arent they) Another usefull tip is once you are really into it get a good paced song in your head. This will save you from getting bored, ensure you keep up a good pace, and they will def like it if you hum along!

You can usually tell when he's close as he might make some noises or his dick gets rock hard. It is a good idea to speed up now. Me personally, I really dislike cum in my mouth so at this point I put my lips close to it or lick it and jerk. Most guys do not like this anywhere near as much as cumming in the mouth but after your ace performance they will still be really pleased. If you do let them cum in your mouth its best to just keep doing what you have been doing, i think? But you might have to read up some more on that one.

Also, PLEASE if you are a man and are reading this, PLEASE wash and even shave your dick first, there's nothing worse to ruin the moment than a pube getting stuck in the back of your throat after sucking a willy that smells a bit. GROSS! And the girl will def talk about it after so please for the love of god shave and wash!

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