Two Gentlemen on Veronica


              I think we've turned the wrongest way
From airport terminal, dear lady.
Are you sure your GPS device
Is in synch with the rotation of
This blue planet?


              Worry not about my positioner, dear driver.
There's more to this fare than what you see as fair.

As is, I've become quite bemused by the shape
Of your head, from what I've seen of its nape.
Why not pull off into this road aside
And let me take you for a ride?


              I must say, my fairest fare, that legs so fine
Must needs a rub from time to time.
I think I can show dear ma'am
The meaning of life in one log jam.


              Then pull this vandalized transport
To yon hillside, and I'll escort
The little cabbie in your pants
To the Veronica Humpa Sailor dance.

Unseen, greased announcer

              I suppose it would take the fool
To not know who is now the tool
Of our lovely Veronica's sordid plans.

There is but one rule for those in school:
Be not wild with heart or tool. . .
She's just removed both head and glans.

Now, we see Veronica unto yon airways hie.
There's naught like free birds on the fly;
Especially when the bird is moist and rich.
But, frankly, I've had it with this bitch.

Let's follow her to Puerto Vallarta
And see if she can escape all tit for tat.
First she buys a red Miata
Then goes to sun her pussy (cat).

Well-tanned local

              Good day, you vision of the bluest beach
That never could approach the reach
Of fashion
Which you manifest in every step
Towards my arms, where you'll be kept,
In passion.


              Hmm. I knew you guys were born to court
With embraces to the tourists here
But I never dreamed one would comport
To convince me that he was not a queer.

Standing, as you are, in Speedo red
I must ask if your alimentation
Is trimming hairs from off the heads
Of those who offer head as remuneration?


              Do you really think you would glance
Upon the tip of Pancho's prize
Above the rim of his bathing pants
Had he the young boys in his eyes?

Veronica (aside)

              Good God, I think I have finally found the man
Who can rinse this blood from off my hands
And wash me clean of all the wrongs
Which hath held my soul in check so long.

Local boat driver

              Ah, you two do sport the look of passion
Reflected in the clearest water of love's desire.
I'm organizing a sailing adventure, in a fashion,
Your presence is both cost free and required.

I'm calling it the Booze Cruise, but be not shocked;
It is a trip to paradise, for those who've seen reruns of Flipper
And I need you two young lovers to draw the flocks
Of tourists who trust not the dark-skinned Skipper.


              Good miss, I know not what they call you,
But names are just a ruse.
Let's board this Cruise and I'll ball you
Until your pretty knees are bruised.

(Veronica and Pancho get on board. At sea:)

Narrator, in crow's nest of vessel, naked

              If the box score I'm now keeping is correct,
As Veronica and Pancho are busy below deck,
This is the third man whose had her in 24 hours.
I'm sure that sweet meat has turned to sour.

After banging her thrice in half an hour,
The lovers appear in the on-deck shower.
Then make their way to railing thin
To talk of matters other than sin.


              Dear Pancho, never has one man turned the tide
On my fear of humans' pleasure ride.
You've made me swoon and made me cream
In a way I thought only occurred in dreams.


              Dear unnamed lady, will you take my hand
And settle with me on my family's land?
I'm rich, you see, and I think that you'll fit in
With Vicente Fox, my father's next of kin.

(Pancho leaves to get two more blue drinks in plastic cups.
The ghost of Helmut floats into view.)

Helmut's Ghost

              Ah, there you are, sweet shark of Mexico.
You remain you, no matter where you go.
Probisticus and Nerdquo both say, "Hi,"
From the Underworld where we all do lie.


              Move away from me, foul vision of the past.
I've found a man who can satisfy my ass;
Unlike the former version of you
Who's mommie never taught to screw.

Helmut's Ghost

              Talk you of my mother, now?
Eat plank, you rancid callous cow.

(Helmut's Ghost uses a 2X6 board to knock Veronica overboard)


              Skipper, Skipper! We've lost a sailing citizen!
We must fish her out before she's dead!


              Too late. See there that hammerhead?
I'm afraid she's switched to bait, my friend.
Was there any reason that shark attacked
So quickly and with such sure honing in?


              Well, she had a butt plug in her crack
And ben wah balls within her trim
Her snatch was bleeding free and flowing
From period and pounding I was just bestowing.


              Yes, American pussies are like a mouse's ear.
They cannot stand the Mexican cock of doom.
Don't feel bad, here's a souvenir;
I took her key to her hotel room.


              Hmm, mayhaps I venture there this eve
And see what value the lady did leave.

Narrator on the beach, with a new Back, Sack and Crack Wax

             We now place our sad tale on the shelves.
The rich get richer and the witch is dead.
Get out of here now, and discuss among yourselves
Whilst I find a cabana boy to negotiate some NAFTA head.


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