Two Gentlemen on Veronica

Unseen (and presumably flaming) Announcer:

Behind the curtain, dark and dim,
Our star-crossed lovers are at each other
Like wolves starved for their mother's
Teat. And it must be noted that Veronica's trim

Hath been pared back to reveal the teeth
Which at first set back our noble Helmut;
Until he plunged head first, up to his nuts,
And there he found his sought relief.

Our fair Veronica doth trim her nails
As Helmut screams and banshee wails
She says, "Oh, baby, you're hurting! Quit!"
As she checks her cuticle and then her clit.

The one is fine, and painted well.
The other hath not begun to swell.
"These selfish men," she fumes aside,
"As if it were a one-way ride."

So now we join the two, apr├Ęs l'amour,
As they get down to talks of commerce.
We first hear Helmut, who's feeling cursed,
(And wondering why I'm behind this door.)


              It is the work. It is the work I miss.
Let me not think of stars nor heavens
For they are the cause. The cause of festered bliss
Which has led me to this place.

Yet, this place must die. Else it shall betray
More men more worthy than I.
Pray tell, Veronica; do these words sashay
And prove edge to the tool you think is dull?


              Pish. You fool of pomp and pleasure.
Have you no thoughts of matters pressing
Which will out both you and I
Like the cock of Pee Wee Herman
'Ere the clock turns thrice?

You know, good Helmut, even though
I never really expressed my dearest desires
Regarding your pension and its stringless wires;
I must now say that, bother me as you do,
I find it hard to think of you as you.

No, I think of you as fucked up Tony
Who messes with my pepperoni
On pizzas delivered less than quick.
Now get your hands from off your dick.

And listen to me as I deliver
Pizza quick, and full of meat.

This mess of solidarity
Must not belie the truth.
There is but one singularity;
Cash, both green and absolute.

Your job, should you decide to take it,
Is help me bypass protocols
(I hope I didn't hurt your balls?)
So we can spin some gold from shit.


              I follow not, my fresh-laid queen?
I think I did just break the law
Laid down by pants and blouse and bra?
Imply you that you're wet again?


              I cannot believe a bulb so dim
Has had the pleasure of my quim.
No, fool; I speak of money, guitas, cash.
I've found some holes big as my gash

In books kept by the one who rules
This sinking ship of solid fools.
Should you provide me with the code
We both could share the motherlode.


              Ah, you need the passwords to accounts
To jiggle funds as you do your mounds
Of nippled flesh which seem erect . . .
Here, hold this thing firmly by it's neck.


              Heaven's ghost, put that away.
I am no longer moist for play.
The lardass gave me all the clues
I need to pull this fancy ruse.
But I need to move these funds forthwith
'Ere Probosticus learn of this!


              OK, OK. I get your drift.
Fire up the modems. We shall grift
This sinking ship of what is left
Before I have to kill myself.


              So the deed is clear? And reasons why?
The asshole never shall comply
With audits clear and clearly done.
You know that you're the only one.

Helmut (aside)

              Veronica's an eel who slithers by
And kills us all with soft splinters
Of current, telling secrets,
Of which I know only the spiny skeletons.

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