"a webcomic with chocolate sprinkles."

In my opinion, this is the funniest comic strip ever drawn, and the fact that it's a webcomic only adds to my awe.

"Something Positive" is the demented semi-autobiographical misanthropic creation of Randall K. Milholland, covering the lives of several mischevious young adults in Boston, with plenty of innuendo. It would never survive in print, because the censors would rip it to shreds.

The Cast

Davan: A bespectacled fellow with hair like Kevin Bacon's. He is quite possibly the most bitter and sarcastic person on the face of the planet, which makes him the most quotable character in the comic. He is loosely based on Milholland himself.

Aubrey: Davan's Machiavellian childhood friend.

Pee Jee: Aubrey's best friend and principal co-conspirator, an Asian woman from Canada with hair colors that change every few months. Aubrey and Pee Jee's characters aren't remarkably different: they seem to personify the fact that women are evil and travel in packs.

Choo Choo Bear: The most popular character in the strip. He is a little pink kitty with no bones, so he oozes around like an amoeba and occasionally performs sight gags. His only line is "Murrrr?" Choo Choo is the subject of most Something Positive fanart.

Jason: The big charismatic leader type in the group who spends most of his time getting laid.

Monette: A recurring character with a room temperature IQ who has sex with everyone, including the koala at the Bronx Zoo. She is currently a lesbian, although this may change in the near future.

Kim: The "decent woman" of the strip, even though she's a wiccan. She has subtly-repressed feelings for Davan.

Jhim: A gay guy who's into RPG's. Pee Jee and Aubrey hang out with him all the time.

Eva: Davan's most recent girlfriend, and possibly the first and last normal character in the story.

So what's the big deal?

Something Positive has got to be one of the most eminently quotable comics ever drawn. It's seriously up there with Calvin and Hobbes. To illustrate the fact, I will reproduce the best dialogue from three completely random strips. (...and the wheel spins...)

Monette: Y'know, I've been reading all your old Lord of the Rings books, and Gandalf died, but he came back as Gandalf the White. Maybe, in a way, your friend will come back as Scotty the White.
Davan: ...and like you wanted, you've removed my pain and replaced it with searing, blinding rage, you stupid slut!

Davan: Every time a former crush has ever flirted or hit on me, the girl I was currently dating usually dumped me for unrelated reasons soon after. And when I became newly single, they never followed through. So don't say anything else. Eva makes me happy and I don't wanna end up single and sexless.
Girl: Aw, Davan, don't worry. If Eva ever leaves you, I promise to be a shoulder to cry on and a vagina to penetrate.
Davan: I want this in the form of a binding contract!

Davan: I just don't wanna date. When I've saved up the money, I'll get a nice mail order bride. I found a site hosting Russian amputee brides. They're half off but work twice as hard.
Jason: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
Davan: But I said it specifically to enrage you. I don't normally custom-tailor my comments.


After finding Something Positive already here, and the cast explained, I feel compelled to add a bit to this node, as the artist, Randy, has been my best friend since sixth grade (we're both in our late twenties now). So, a bit of biographical information about the artist from someone who truly knows him. Randy was also was one of the primary witnesses in Dissed by a Five Year-Old.

Randy Milholland and Davan are more or less the same person outwardly. Both are quite bitter, both have a deep-rooted misogyny that borders on psychosis. Both have been made this way by being, effectively, a good person who was taken advantage of once too often.

It is easy to assume that Randy is a very evil-minded person, but the truth is that, for his friends, he has always been the absolute pillar of reason, and always has a sympathetic ear. He is a hard worker; balancing a full-time job, college, RPG, and running a 200-seat theater, in addition to drawing and authoring Something Positive almost every day.

Randy went to Wilshire Elementary School in Euless, TX. When I first met him, we hated each other. He had been drawing since he was about 5 years old, and was quite good. He was also sarcastic and mean-spirited. I was new, could not draw as well, and quite frankly, very susceptible to his teasing. For the entirety of fifth grade, we were Dexter and Mandarb. Until one day we actually found someone we hated even more. From there on we became the best of friends.

His first few experiences in the dating scene were epic disasters, some of which are still discussed. But for some reason, he still had the patience to listen to an ex on the phone for hours on end, until he eventually found out he could remove all filters on what you would normally say, and simply be as bluntly truthful as possible, and people thanked him for it.

Eventually his friends moved away, including myself. We had all graduated high school, and were moving on with our lives. We maintained contact over the phone and emails, but eventually he decided there was nothing left for him in Texas. No way to grow. Off he went to Boston, where he has now achieved the fame of over 100,000 people per day taking time out of their day to read his comic.

His first love, more than any other medium, is water-colour. For a while he very nearly moved to Arizona because they had a great water-colour school there. I was one of the people who talked him out of it. Sometimes I wonder whether or not Randy might have been happier there, especially if Something Positive is any remote indication of his current life.

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