Robbie Williams is the bad boy of pop. If by "bad" you mean "shite". Possibly the most pitiful, shallow, boorish, talentless waste of simian DNA ever to blight the face of the Earth. His no-stars brand of plodding pub-rock generica is accompanied by "jaunty!!!" lyrics that could make a petrified corpse cringe. He persistently bumbles his way through a series of literally nauseating videos dancing like a pissed uncle at a wedding and contorting his dog-like face into a consummately punchable smirk. An educationally subnormal chimp in a tuxedo could evoke more poise and 007-stylishness than this goofy fucksponge.

Recently he - or rather some faceless Sony Music exec - has attempted to inject an element of "street" into his songs by having him attempt to rap. The resulting aural travesties fall somewhere between Chas 'n' Dave and Ant 'n' Dec, if either party had been lobotomised beforehand and was deliberately attempting to write non-rhyming lines. Just another reason, if one were needed, why Take That should have been sealed in a lead bunker under the Atlantic. He rightly bombed in America.

Oh and in case the jury's still out, this inbred corporate stooge actually supports the RIAA. Coke screws you up kids. Robbie Williams is the man for whom the phrase "first against the wall when the revolution comes" was coined.

Robbie Williams exists for one reason alone. To make a record company money. There is no entertainment value inherent in his work. It is artless, soulless, and glorifies inanity and ignorance. Worse than any of this though, it is actually profoundly, skin-crawlingly, cuticle-tearingly, eye-gougingly irritating to listen to. Not only is it bad, it insults and degrades the self respect of the listener.

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