Why did I do it?
I thought that my pubic hair looked awful, like a big black bush. The only thing was I didn't think what I might look like without it. So I considered removing it.
What made up my mind was when I saw a woman with very little pubic hair getting changed in the gym. I thought that she looked really good. So when I went home that night, I got the hair removal cream out and started work.
It stung, quite a bit, and it was messy, but all I could think about was the woman at the gym. When the 10 minutes were up I started to remove the cream in the shower. I didn't realise I had so much pubic hair! Out came clump after clump of hair until I had none left. I dried off and I went to the full length mirror.
What a shock! You could see all my womanly bits and it looked nasty. My pubic area was bright red as the hair removal cream had irritated it. Worst of all it had left a fair bit of stubble. I looked like a complete fool.
I now know that pubic hair is there for a reason. I am now far too ashamed to get undressed at the gym and I am still red and itchy and it is becoming worse. I am never going to attempt such a daft task again.
Removing pubic hair can be done in a number of effective ways. The best way is to first trim back the growth with some scissors to a more easily managed length, and remove the rest with a sharp razor blade and lots of warm water. Be sure to shave with the growth of hair rather than against it.

After shaving it can be quite beneficial to exfoliate and moisturize the area. Using hair-removal cream on the sensitive pubic area is quite dangerous and prone to causing irritation.

Waxing, whilst extemely painful is another effective method.

I've noticed a lot of writeups that describe shaving pubic hair, but most of them don't describe the different styles women can choose. Therefore, I've put together a list:

  • Au Naturel
  • No muss, no fuss...just let nature take its course. Most women choose this style most of the time, since they understandably don't care to put sharp or hot things anywhere near their delicate womanly bits.

  • Trim and Comb
  • Most girls are fine with the natural look at first, but as they get older, their pubic hair will often keep on growing and spreading, growing and spreading--and eventually, some women come to feel that it looks overgrown, unkempt, and flat-out gross. Many of these women adopt the "trim and comb" method, which just involves snipping longer, thicker patches and brushing out loose hairs. It's quick, easy, and only requires an occasional few minutes of work while sitting on the toilet (warning: use safety scissors, which have rounded, not pointed, tips. You can't really see what you're doing and you don't want to screw up and poke yourself.) It doesn't particularly itch (unless you cut too much) and it offers great benefits: lovers have an easier time finding what they're looking for and don't end up swallowing as much hair in the process. There's a nonsexual bonus, too--a female friend once told me that this style can make menstruation a bit less messy. Lots of women opt for the trim-and-comb, especially if they're sexually active.

  • Bikini Shave
  • The trim-and-comb method is fine throughout fall and winter and spring, but when summertime comes around, it may not be enough. When a trimmer-and-comber puts on a bathing suit, her pubic hair will peek out from the edges, which is usually considered gross. To get around this problem, a woman will shave the bikini line, which at least involves removing any hair on the upper inner thigh. (She may also shave the outer border of the pubic triangle and the labia depending on the cut of the bathing suit she wants to wear.) Most women shave their bikini line at some point, and most of them don't like doing it. (aside: I personally don't see why we need women to wear these things. It'd make much more sense if they wore something like a sports bra and Umbros.)

  • Half-Shave
  • As far as I know, most women don't go beyond the bikini shave. Some, though, do go farther and decide to remove all the hair from their vulva, leaving the pubic triangle on the mons veneris intact. Now, a lot of women seem to think that their nether regions look silly, and they're embarrassed to have them poking out. As a nonhomosexual male, I think this part of a woman's body is as beautiful as the rest of her, and I'm happy to see it more clearly.

    Besides, this method can make sex a bit more comfortable. Pubic hair sometimes feels rough and traps smelly sweat, and if you're doing some heavy grinding, it can leave you with uncomfortable friction burns. After a half-shave, the vulva is much more sensitive (at least for a while)...and during lovemaking, your own sensitive regions will be enveloped in an incredibly moist and smooth softness.

    Unfortunately, most women end up with shaving rash (I don't even want to think about waxing that particular area) and dark-haired women may be unable to avoid constant stubble and five o'clock shadow. Sexy though it may be, it probably ain't worth it. Trim and comb, take a shower, and use some lube.

  • The Hitler Mustache (or, the Charlie Chaplin)
  • Some women take the bikini shave even farther and remove the corners of the pubic triangle. When it's combined with the half-shave, this style leaves a rectangle of hair just above the vulva. It looks completely ridiculous and unnatural and bears an uncanny resemblance to Adolf Hitler's little toothbrush mustache (hence the name). I doubt that most everyday women ever use this method (unless they're wearing bikini bottoms that are cut REALLY high), but it's rather common among porn stars and the like.

  • The Brazilian (also known as the Landing Strip or the Mohawk)
  • Some women take the Charlie Chaplin even farther, and shave off everything except for a thin vertical strip a centimeter or two wide. To my eyes, this looks even sillier and less natural than the Hitler Mustache, and I find it distracting--if you're going to go this far, why not go all the way?

  • Bald (or, the Sphinx)
  • If you're gonna do it, why not go all the way? Some women simply shave it all off, revealing their secret flower in all its glory. This technique has a certain appeal (especially to the producers of men's magazines and adult videos, who want you to see every penetration as clearly as possible). It has all the benefits and problems of the half-shave, but over a larger area.

Ladies, heed the advice of your everythingian peers--many women seem to regret taking a razor or depilatory cream to their crotch. Choose what's comfortable...we want you to feel good. We're not going to hate you over a little thing like pubic hair (and if we do, we damn well don't deserve you). Have fun.

Regarding the shaving of pubic hair, here's a massively funny story that I've seen circulated around the webforums lately. I have no idea who the author is (it certainly isn't me) and I am aware that cut and paste write-ups are bad, but I still thought this was worth noding, since (as far as I can tell) no-one has noded it yet. Please read before voting. That's all for introduction.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story in the hopes that although it is tasteless, you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling.

Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements, like "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class.
Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks.

As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks.

Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad.

Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.


See. I told you it was funny.

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