I have seen the sun rise
every day this week and not of my own volition
. I haven't been able to sleep, I mean really sleep
, in forever. I am sure that this is entirely stress
related, I have never been this stressed in my life. so what am I stressed about? I am stressed about life
, my parents
, my housing situation
, a more concise answer could be delivered for the question what am I not stressed about.
I am living in hell here, drunken ass holes have caused nearly $20,000 in damages to the common areas of my building, which comes partially out of my pocket, I am less concerned with the money than I am with the lack of respect for the community in general that this displays. I don't really blame them though, I don't really have that much respect for most of the people in my building either. I certainly don't have any respect for the administration. they decided that since we have been so bad they are going to make this, and I quote, "a more hostile environment". they said that at the building meeting and one of my favorite people in the world stood up and pointed out how stupid that was, they denied having said it. this hostile environment has come right back in their faces, the damage has nearly doubled since that meeting, only three weeks past.
My living situation however is only part of my stress, then there is school. School and I hate each other right now, I have been doing really well, then I stopped caring and now I am not sure how I am doing. I am in school because I want to learn but they don't really want to teach me anything. they are more interested in my making lots of money when I am done, I don't want the life that they are preparing me for here. Then there is the issue of the classes. I am challenged by the classes here but not intellectually, my ability to be punctual and my time management skills are challenged.
Then there is the girl--so I met this fantastic girl a few months ago and everything looked to be exactly what I wanted; appearances can be deceiving. now I am left feeling like she is giving me mixed messages only to realize that my confusion as to what was going on has been causing me to give her mixed messages which brings them right back to me as she tries to fly by the seat of her pants and figure out what the hell is going on.
My only comfort is knowing that it is all going to be over and I will be on to something else in just under 2 weeks.