Question:Why is everyone so obsessed about Water Bears?
Answer:Water Bears are the ultimate paradox. On one hand, you have an invisible arachnid like creature that swarms everywhere and can survive almost any type of extremity, yet surprisingly enough, most people are not frightened of them, but instead think they are scrappy little buggers.
Question: Are Water Bears different than Gorillas?
Answer: Yes, they are. Gorillas are the closest relative to humans, and in bad enough light, could be mistaken for a human. Water Bears, on the other hand, are bizarre little invisible creatures that have their own phylum. The only similarities they have to each other are held amongst Buddhist Philosophers who hold to the doctrine of the interpenetration of all phenomena.
Question: Are Water Bears mammals?
Answer: No, they are in their own Phylum, Tardigrada. Even though mammals come in all shapes and sizes, a Water Bear is smaller than a piece of hair, and therefore can not have hair. Some Buddhist philosophers debate this. However, they are usually kept far away from the nomenclature decision making body of the World Zoological Conference.
Question: Do Water Bears come in different colors?
Answer: No. Water Bears are invisible. They come in no color at all. Something must be visible to have color. However, Crayola, driven by the madness of binary increase, has considered putting a Water Bear colored crayon in their new, deluxe, 1024 color box.
Question: Do Water Bears taste good?
Answer: Different philosophers have different opinions on this. Materialists believe that taste is an evolutionary adaption that allows organisms to sense their environment. Since Water Bears are very well suited to their environment, they must have a good sense of taste. Epiphenomenalists believe that mental ability rises spontaneously from the chemical processes of the brain. However, scales are not fine enough to weigh a Water Bear brain and determine whether it can think. Vitalists believe that a Water Bear has the spark of life in it, and can therefore taste as well as any living being. Idealists believe that our world is shaped by our categorical understanding of it, and that Water Bears don't have a category for taste, but do have a category that magically tells them where they lost simple household objects. Buddhists philosophers believe that "There is no tongue, there is no nose, there is no eye, there is no ear, there is no touch, and there is no mind". Photos of Water Bears show that Buddhist Philosophers at least partially don't know what they are talking about.
Question: That is very nice, but I meant the verb "taste" in the passive sense
Answer: Lick the closest object you can find. Take away the normal taste of plastic and dust and despair, and what is left is probably water bear
Question: Do Water Bears make good students?
Answer: They make very good students, considering they are perhaps the smallest animal with an actual brain.
They do, however, have a frequent problem with being Tardy
Question: I am a freshwoman in college, and my best friend from high school is now my dormmate. We thought it would be really fun to live together, but now I am finding out that it isn't all fun and games. She is a total slob, and I am a total neat freak. I am starting to get tired of her throwing her dirty socks all over my side of the room. I fear that if we don't stop being roommates, we will stop being friends! How do I bring up wanting us to find other roommates, without insulting her?
Answer: Why are you asking me this?
Question: Oh, sorry, that was for another Q and A. What I meant was, are Water Bears oviparous
Answer: Yes, yes they are.
Question: Has Recent DNA and RNA sequencing data indicate that Tardigrades are the closest sister group to the Arthropods, even closer than Onychophora.
Answer:You just copied that question directly from wikipedia, didn't you?
Question:Okay, fine, I did. Only two more questions. First, are any American states named after the Water Bear?
Answer: No, but the waters around Europe were named after the European Water Bear
Question: And finally, do Water Bears make good plumbers?
Answer: Not currently, but nanotechnologists believe that since there can be tens of thousands of Water Bears in a single liter of water, that if they were hooked up to the right nanotechnology and AI hive mind, they could form a living tide of plumbing solutions. However, the old adage "a plumber is only as good as his tools" has been transformed into "a plumber is only as good as their tools, and also as their chances not to go from virtually unkillable mysterious little organisms that already exist on every climate on earth to virtually unkillable mysterious little organism that already exists on every climate enhanced with cyborg technology and a hivemind that will enable them to become an all powerful invisible grey goo"