Thank you for your insight, Mr. Magnus...

Jazzland is a jazz music-themed park just outside of New Orleans (You can see to city from the top of the Ferris Wheel.) If you go, here's what you'll see:

As you enter

If you get past the metal detectors and don't have to leave anything at the entrance, you'll be greeted by some fairly friendly people weilding cameras. They'll ask to take you're picture. Resistance is Futile. After your picture is taken they'll give you a nice little claim-ticket thing which you can use to purchase various items emblazoned with your lovely face(s) at the shop just up the street a few paces and to the right. To your immediate left and right there are some typical Theme Park shops at which you can obtain anything you ever wanted with Jazzland written all over it. Note: There are edible LEGOS in the candy store that is on the left side of the entrance street. They come in little bags that are dispensed out of big tubes in the back of the shop.

Now that you've passed the first round of shops, you'll find yourself greeted by a little pavilion on which a "jazz" band is usually playing. This is a nice spot to cool off, and watch for other people in the park because there is a big area with a roof over it on the right and it's near the lake in the center on the park.

The Right Path

If you head to the right of the pavilion you'll see what later turns out to be a small theater which plays host to a regularly scheduled jazz show. Note: I strongly do not recommend going to see this, unless you really need to get out of the sun.

Walking a bit further there is a big recessed area where big tents are sometimes set up to host various activities. (A cheerleading competition was there when I went.) On the left is another little food stand place and just past that is a crazy-twirling-swing-ride-of-death. Going a bit further you'll find the kid's area of the park. This place is great because you are the biggest person there and the floor is all rubberizer and bouncy. Beside the kid's area are bathrooms and a small toy shop.

Here the path turns to the left around a HUGE tower that people pay money to fling themselves off of whilst attached to thin steel ropes. (Yes, that means I did it.) A bit further up beside $Death is a big-people version of the swing-ride. (A few of our group got stuck in these for quite a while.) And then beside that is one of the park's water rides. Good for cooling off, not much else.

On the right side of all these rides are are a restaurant which sometimes plays host to the better of the two jazz bands that meander throughout the park, a big roller-coaster, and another must-do: the Mardi-Gras ride. The story of this ride is that really mean stuff has invaded Mardi-Gras and you have to save the city from it. This involves getting in a small car (holds four) equipped with light guns that you get to shoot at various targets throughout the ride. There are small LCD panels in front of you that keep track of everyone's scores so you know who won at the end!

The Left Path
If you head left of the Jazz Pavilion you'll be greeted by one of the better food-places in the park. It serves Cajun type meals at the typical mark-up rates of all good Theme Parks. Past that is the other water ride of the park which I did not go on. Here the path widens and is split down the middle by a row of good shops and a mini-coaster which we broke. Across from these is a PIRATE RIDE which is one of those movie-and-moving-seats deals that tells the story of some pirate that I forgot. Exiting this ride you'll run into a small pirate-themed shop where all sorts of good stuff can be found.

Heading over the bridge on the left is a small roller-coaster flanked by one of the twirly-saybyebye-to-lunch rides that have fans that spray water in front of them somtimes.

Here the path bends right to show the back of the park which holds a water show in a small lake that flanks the entire park. Not much to watch, good to walk by. On the right side of this show are a bunch of mini-shops that hold mostly that same stuff the shops in the entrance to the park held. Passing these, you'll find a big 'ole Ferris Wheel that you can usually ride forever until you ask if you can keep riding. Note: The attendant there was the only person in the entire park to wish me a "jazzy day".

At the appex of the park there are more shops and a lot of game-type places where you can win stuff like big stufféd aminals.

That's my walkthrough of Jazzland©®™, it's a nice place as long as you have other things to do for the rest of the day. The jazz theme and the overpriced goods get old fairly fast, so deploy, enjoy, leave quickly.

Parking is USD$5 and it will cost you USD$25 to gain entrance if you are under 48 inches and USD$31 if you are taller.

The website can be found at

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