Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I was once dumped by a Philosophy grad because I told her I wasn't sure if "absolute truth" exists."

• you never once told her how beautiful she was nor how much you truly loved her
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• She was most amazed by the obvious, like January and the fact that I could not possibly keep her.
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• I was sure it was her
• In her tomb by the sounding sea
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• I was in a blindfold taste test once...
• He touched her once and she turned into a golden creature. He never touched her again.
• absolute truth
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• direct experience is important because all encoded truths are subject to corruption
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• Victor Burczyki, a man who once bought me a beer and told me this story
• only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
• I was raised by the French government
• It was too late by the time the robots came and I couldn't, I just couldn't
• little pieces of her tragically poetic attempts at being loved that she was startlingly aware of, today
• His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
• My lunch money was stolen by a predatory Mars rover
• Tell the truth. Begin by beginning. Say good things to yourself.
• Crazy? I was crazy once.
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• I was once young and had a home
• Once there was a way...
• Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
• I once dreamt that I was a line
• The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, Even
• because eventually you will see past my magical words and focus once again on the matter at hand
• By Appointment to Her Majesty The Queen
• I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
• The German textbook that was written by Morrissey
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• The sun was caught playing unashamedly in her auburn hair, setting our world on fire with giddiness
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• I could tell by all of her dead house plants
• She was inside the music, with her eyes closed
• I told her the driftwood looked like Spain
• That week with her was like drinking bubbles
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• every secret thing was made by some one
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• Leather-bound organizer
• That was what her hunger was like: mesmerizing, directed, floating like a public secret just under the cloud cover.
• There once was a girl named Irene
• There once was a man from St. Paul
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• I was once stranded on a dessert island
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• I am no longer the foolish young man I once was
• What was once well planned in a mad girls mind, and is now quickly becoming a last minute nodermeet
• what once I was
• she was once a stealthy ghostship in the fog, now she shines wherever she walks
• Finding air where matter once was
• There Once Was a Farmer
• There was once a Man
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• Electronically, I was questioned by a mallard of flame…
• What happened to us, poisoned by truth
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• Ruminations on being run over by a dump truck
• Young Virgin Auto-Sodomized by Her Own Chastity
• tales told by unlit roads
• Fields of sunshine bloom as the midnight in her dress falls away, replaced by moonlight.
• If you loved her, you'd be home by now
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• If you become lucid, you realize history's greatest literature was being written as you read it ...by yourself.
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• And I wept, remembering that such beauty had once existed everywhere
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• All that was left of her was a damp handkerchief
• Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
• And while I stand by what I said, I honestly wasn't intending for him to light himself on fire.
• Her self image was not the force field she imagined it to be
• it was just as if she held her breath for 82 years
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• She was so quiet that nobody heard her
• All he left her was alone
• Where was her angel all those times the sky clouded over
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• I once was a clueless young noder
• There once was a chicken named Alice
• I once dreamt that I was a c++ program
• Once, everyone was a computer novice
• making certain he was touching her
• I was a nice guy once
• I was a free man once, in Saigon
• I was in a commercial once
• This Dust Was Once the Man
• Told You Once
• Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
• Where Once Life Was
• Laid down on the bed that wasn't her own
• I was adored once too
• I don't like her because she won't like me
• I smile just because you exist
• every noder was once a normal human
• She was pain and pleasure all at once, wrapped up in needles and Ramones T-shirts
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• Every molecule in my body was once part of a star
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• Once was enough
• Love is stored in the memories of what once was
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• Once I saw a car chase that wasn't on the news
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• because it wasn't just the air
• The Revolution was Postponed Because of Rain
• Humans exist only because opposites exist
• Because I still love her, because I know she still loves me.
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• Things you can tell just by looking at her
• My first and last attempt at a one night stand was raided by the police
• A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing
• I married him because he was not mean
• Food which was intended as such by nature
• Once By The Pacific
• Things that no one told you...until now, because I'm telling you. Consider yourself fortunate
• Pragmatism by William James: Lecture I: The Present Dilemma in Philosophy
• There was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard
• She is the queen of accidental magic. Her used kleenexes, taken by the wind, become soulful ghosts.
• Jacques Chirac was shot in the head by a fascist named Jean-Marie Le Pen
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• What was stolen by someone else
• That Thursday the Universe was curved in the morning and was flat again by afternoon
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
• our voices, once clarion, have been muted by time and mortgages
• Anyone could know just by watching her silent moves
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• she was waylaid by an octopus
• Things you can't tell just by looking at her
• truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing
• smiling in photographs was a concept introduced by Kodak
• it was years before they met again, by chance
• surrounded by stars, her dark hair blending into the fabric of the night sky
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• His collection of substances that should not exist was stolen. The thieves then killed themselves 1000 times over.
• the truth of this story is not affected by whether it bores you to hear it again
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• I don't think I was rude to her, just cold and curt
• Her name was Natalie
• The reckoning won't come all at once. It comes day by day.
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• The emotion on her face was always the one that she was feeling in her heart
• She was the prettiest, loveliest cat at the ball and she had upon her fine gilded whiskers.
• I set my sister up with her husband, and all I got was this great dress and a trip to Hawaii
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• She always was devious in her beauty
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• Her hair was seaweed and the Pacific wind sang
• Despite her station, the quarry was never alone
• You cherish this box because it once held your dreams
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• A dose of mystery slipped into her cocktail while she was in the ladies' room
• I don't remember what her name was so let's call her Doris
• (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
• I was once a victim of Catholic schooling
• there was more poetry in her shopping lists than in any of my rhymes
• She knows no truth except her own.
• I was once stranded on a desert island
• If I told you once
• I told her I couldn't sleep
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• her winter mists concealed the truth
• Because, perhaps she was cold

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