Before you get all excited this is a complete joke, but it is still an interesting read. It appeared on the internet in about 1995 and was clearly labelled at that time as a joke.

However, it continued to travel the internet as these things do, now missing the joke disclaimer. As such it has become an Urban Legend, with people sincerely and regularly requesting it on the newsgroup alt.drugs.

There are a couple of problems with the recipe. The most basic is the fact that Fosters doesn't actually contain ergot. The beer is a 'bottom fermented lager', which is common throughout the brewing industry. Fosters is made out of rye, just like most other beers. Also the fact that if this recipe was true, then Fosters wouldn't be on the market or the ingredients of it would have to be changed!

Ergot contains many different alkaloids, a couple of which (ergine, ergonavine, and ergotamine) can, in fact, be used to synthesize LSD. There is one truth that can be found in the recipe - ergot is poisonous. People die from ergot poisoning. So if there was ergot in Fosters (even enough to make your million doses of LSD), then some Aussie beer drinkers would have died by now.

The process of LSD synthesis is a complex one which requires a fully equipped laboratory. It is not the sort of thing that can be done on your stovetop with a dozen stubbies and a large oar. But for the interests of amusement here is the recipe.

LSD can be derived from the ergot virus which is commonly found on hops and wheat. While it's possible to scrape the virus off the stalks of these plants, there's a much easier way to get ergot - Fosters Beer

Foster's Beer is one of the few beers made with ergot-containing grains, and it is definitely the most available. First, you'll need some big, blue cans of Foster's Beer, which you can purchase at most local supermarkets.

1. Buy 12 cans of Foster's Beer. In a pan, heat the beer to a slow boil, in order to remove the water and isolate the ergot-containing compounds. Boiling off the water should take approximately 36 hours -- don't rush the process, or you risk damaging the ergot-containing compounds. As the beer evaporates, simply add more beer. In this way, eventually, you'll have the essential compounds from all 12 beers in the bottom of the pan.

2. It's now necessary to pH neutralize the slightly acidic ergotamine solution, using a weak base. No-fat household milk is ideal for the job. Mix in 1/4 cup of no-fat milk (be sure not to use milk with any milkfat) and wait 30 minutes for the solution to reach equilibrium. At this point, you have a weak solution of ergotamine with which you can continue the process. It should be a creamy brown colour and a bit gooey. Be careful, because ergotamine is a deadly poison.

3. Next, it's necessary to combine lysine with the ergotamine solution. Lysine is available in most health food stores. You'll need about 2 grams of lysine (that's 20 100mg pills). Cool the ergotamine solution to near freezing in your freezer (to avoid desosphyxiation with CO2 in the air). Now, simply grind the pills into a powder and mix into your ergotamine solution. You now have lysergic acid.

4. You want LSD, lysergic acid diethylamide, however, and so you need to ethylate your compound and then ammonate it. Sound hard? It isn't. Simply add ethyl alcohol to the lysergic acid mixture. Pure grain alcohol is ideal, but Bacardi 151 or some other high-proof alcohol will work fine. Add 1 cup of pure alcohol, 1 1/3 cup of 151 proof, or 2 cups of 100 proof. Now, to remove the hydroxyls, add 6 cups of 4% hydrogen peroxide (available at your local pharmacy) or 24 cups of 1% (stronger is better). Be careful, because now your compound is highly flammable (Keep it away from open flames).

5. Now, for the final step in preparation, add 4 ounces of pure ammonia to the solution and let sit at room temperature for 3 days. This waiting period allows for the slow reaction to take place -- at higher temperatures this reaction occurs much more quickly, but you risk decomposition of the LSD. At the end of the three days, you've done it! You've got LSD.

The expected yield of LSD is 100 grams, over 1,000,000 doses! Be VERY, VERY careful at this point, because the solution you're dealing with is extremely concentrated. If any gets on your hands, you could be tripping for years! Now, put about 20 gallons of water in a barrel, and stir in the LSD using a large oar. At this level of dilution, a 1/4 cup contains about 100 hits. You can dispense the hits using an eye dropper (3 or 4 drops per hit).

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