The Skinny, for the Attention Deficit Disordered

Friday, October 20, 2006
Washington, D.C.
La Tomate, an Italian bistro close to Dupont Circle
1701 Connecticut Ave., NW
Washington, D.C.
8:00 p.m.
Reservations will be made under "Everything2"

Seating in this restaurant is limited. PLEASE RSVP via /msg to me if you're coming!

A More Amplified Version

Wherein the host cracks his authorial knuckles, prepares mentally to begin presenting the meat of the writeup, and tells You the Reader the reason he felt compelled to host yet another debauched evening of talk and drink, ribaldry, and possible flirting and probably an exchange of business cards, although the latter will prove to be a largely ceremonial and unwelcome task, unless cash offers are involved.

It’s October, and we should be in the mountains hiking a good hike. Why, then, spend an evening outside, boulevarding it amid good food, convivial company, possibly some smoke (IF THE DC NAZIS PERMIT) and the smell of ale? Why, indeed. Truth be told, your host has put on a bit of weight around his ass and stomach from incessant work, and can’t be bothered to wheeze up those damned long hikes any more. It shall be left for the youth of Everything2 to plan such strenuous endeavours. For now, we shall be content to act as K street lawyers (of whom we shall see our share, and political aides as well) and sit and nurse our drinks. We shall pontificate on the prophesied demise of Everything2. We shall gossip. The subject will probably be you. If you’d like to defend yourself, show up and gossip about someone else. As for me, my main subjects will be dannye, Halspal, and the size of paraclete’s breasts. Possibly music shall be discussed. Possibly a couple or two shall depart early and wander off into the dark streets, hail a cab, head to the nearest hotel, and let nature take its course. This is a bawdy place, and I am under no illusion that you are coming to enjoy scintillating conversation with me. Hell, if you look good, you might get hit on by me – it’s been known to happen – but I shall be steeling myself for the inevitable rejection. Long legged Swedish blonde supermodels are encouraged to attend. Well, we do have a Danish sumo fan. I suppose that's close. Still. Sweden, if you're listening, send your finest. (CALL ME.)

All kidding aside, we shall probably talk about gerunds and subjunctives, and past participles and present pluperfect and such things as writers are wont to talk about, when they’re not shagging each other rotten.

Some of you will feel the need to discuss politics. I guess this is a political town, so you’re entitled. Recent Supreme Court decisions might be in the news. You might wish to chit chat about that, for the smarties who read the New York Times and The Economist. Me, I can’t be bothered. Boil it down to three sentences, and then let’s get back to the superficial subjects at hand. We may find you politically astute type a separate table. The Young Republican Puritans are a constant presence in this town, and you might find yourself in close proximity with a young aide who works for a Senate Whip, in which case god help you.

Other topics which inevitably interest E2 writers includes religion, philosophy, science, and software programming. Personally, I don’t get the charm of these topics, but would be willing to argue with you nonetheless, unless it’s about C or Perl or HTML, in which case you’re on your own. Star Wars and LOTR also seems to be a hot topic.

Hands Across the Water. A Plea to Special Interest Groups.

Canada, you are welcome to send your best. Mexico, likewise. It is unlikely that Europeans or Asians show up, but if you do you’d be welcome with open arms. Just please don’t make fun of our beer, and leave our women alone. Children are not welcome. Nor are pets. Or possibly they are. OriginalZin is very persuasive.

Poor college students are encouraged to attend so that you can tell us about the latest musical trends and music-sharing software, and such mysterious Web sites as myspace, youtube, and & etc. Also, Wikipedia, if you absolutely must. Also, the latest campus sex trends. We’re always amused at how the youth of today spend their free moments.

Recently married E2 couples are curiosities, so we’d encourage you to come and tell us how that’s working out. Mixed marriages are also invited, as we’re curious what sort of erstwhile normal people are willing to be married to E2 writers.

If you have an infectious disease, you are urged to refrain from attending. Unless it’s a really interesting infectious disease. (In which case, see the Young Republicans table, op cit.)

If you have an uncomfortably full wallet, you are encouraged to join us. I personally have developed a fondness for relatively expensive drinks, and would welcome some financial support for new vices. The poor need not attend. You’d be competing for my liquor dollars, and I simply can’t have that. I’m sure you’d understand. Let the Democratic Party help you out. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Who's RSVP'd

  1. IWhoSawTheFace
  2. Dimview
  3. momomom
  4. Randombit
  5. unperson
  6. Gorgonzola

Who’s Attending

  1. Your intrepid host
  2. The very spidery jessicapierce. See below. If she tells you she's not coming she's lying, and you shouldn't believe her. She'll be there. She'll be there, dammit. She will!
  3. momomom
  4. Arviragus
  5. Kensey, who recommend Mr. Smith's. Jazz combo. Could be good.
  6. The very Danish dimview. Yes! Sumo woman is traveling from Denmark to attend!
  7. radlab0 and WonkoDSane.
  8. brain
  9. cbustapeck and bride scribe have requested to be moved up to the DEFINITE list. That's so cool, since they're a recently-married E2 couple, and we all want to know how that whole thing worked out.
  10. originalzin en familie. I'm pretty sure I can talk him into joining us. BIG fucker. He'd give The Custodian a run for his money.
  11. Dr. unperson Woodley Park wah wah wah busy can't talk blah blah blah equations scribbling optimal time to come scribble scribble blah blah blah JUST GET YER ASS DOWN THERE YOU LAZY GOOD FER NUTHING . // UPDATE: MWAH HA HA! It worked! I shamed Dr. Un into coming! Ahhhh, this Mind Control stuff works well...

Who Might Be Attending

  1. doyle, if his car is running
  2. Major General Panic, who will be on an academic holiday.
  3. Drownzsurf
  4. Jack
  5. Derrith
  6. Matthew smoking blah blah blah bad blah blah blah cough wah wah wah offensive blah blah blah. NO EXCUSE!
  7. izubachi, whose poetry I adore, sez: "Oof, I seriously considered it, but I crosschecked airfare, amtrak fare, and my budget and the results didn't look good. Still put me down as a maybe, because I'm not entirely ruling it out, but barring a windfall I probably won't be able to make it." NO EXCUSE! Just show up and be there.

Who’s Not Attending

  1. It’s probably not okay to be on this list, and you’ll be subject to abuse and ridicule, but tell me anyway.
  2. Bitriot, who believes he's too far away and too poor to attend. NO EXCUSE!
  3. paraclete, who believes she's too poor to attend, and too far away, and has medical exams to study for. NO EXCUSE!
  4. jessicapierce, who began her reply with "aw mister you know I'd love to. But it's real doubtful..." and then proceded to LIE HER ASS OFF. No excuse! NO EXCUSE! I'm still putting you down as a fully-committed YES. You won't get away that easily.
  5. randombit, who likens Georgetown unto a fraternity party. NO EXCUSE! (And then pukes on his shoes. "Oh, shorryyyyy.")
  6. sontra "Sorry, I won't be able to come. I'll be busy fighting the aliens from Zargon Five." NO EXCUSE!
  7. hunt05, who said something about her Scion and money blah blah blah short of it blah blah broken... NO EXCUSE!
  8. litlebertha, who said something similar. NO EXCUSE!


Iwhosawtheface at gmail dot com

The Usual Caveats

No cameras. No recording equipment. Everything’s deniable. No record of this meeting ever having happened. What goes on at this nodermeet stays at this nodermeet.


  1. Here’s where I list a bunch of things like phone number,
  2. It’s unlikely to be my phone number, but you’ll feel better having a phone number.
  3. It’s unlikely that this phone number’s area code is within two time zones of Washington, but still you’ll feel better having one.
  4. What to do if you promise to make it, but for some unspecified reason weasel out of it at the last moment, and I get really pissed at you.
  5. What to bring with you, like a few good jokes about the new Content Editors
  6. Where you can stay.
  7. What sorts of things you can do that weekend, after you’ve recovered and realized your wallet hasn’t been stolen.
  8. An emergency phone number, in case it has. (See above.)

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