It was a family holiday at the beach which appeared to be in Poland. There were lots of ethnic minorities there and I rented three snorkels from a Chinese shop; one for me and two for my brothers. The snorkel was a disappointment because water was so dirty you could hardly see anything and as the matter of fact there was nothing to see. Anyway, my brothers enjoyed but took the snorkel back before I had to pay extra.

Easier said than done, these two Chinese guys tried to fool me saying that I had used the snorkel for over an hour but I had a receipt. They still didn't give up and tried to put the pressure on me but I stood firm. I went back to my brothers to warn them that these fellows were very dodgy guys and they better bring the snorkels back. They couldn't care a less. I said that it was their problem then but I really didn't feel that way and I was under a slight stress.

As I went back the Chinese guys had gone and I went back to my apartment. I lived in third floor and took an elevator. But in great terror I saw that the elevator didn't stop. This was a great wonder because the flat had only four floors and the elevator just kept going. I was scared to death that I'm doomed. Finally it stopped and the door opened. I was on the street level. What!? I stepped outside and saw that the elevator had changed its direction. It didn't go upwards but diagonally. I thought that for the criminals it was easy to climb down the well and sneak into the flat. I didn't feel so safe back into my flat anymore.

I left the elevator and went to a department store which was part of the same chain as the shop I rented the snorkels. I thought I was entitled to a compensation and I was intrigued to buy a Scrabble game. There were two shop assistants and the woman spoke plain Finnish. It was really surprising and I listened to her a bit. Then I asked about the Scrabble in Finnish too but she was almost like shocked. I asked if she speaks Finnish but the answer was negative. I was more than confused. Why she didn't admit? Well, I said to her that I was sure she spoke Finnish but then I asked about the Scrabble. Finally I got a reduction due to the snorkel hassle...

I was playing the board game version of Tiberian Sun with my friend, and wondered about the trucks those werent available in the computer game. They were some kind of trading convoys, but I wondered what was the point about that when there was only tiberium to trade anyway. I quit the game when I got a better idea, since somewhy I suddenly realized that I needed three types of radiation for something cool to happen.

I wired two coils on two clothes hangers and placed them on the livingrooms desk in 90 degrees angle against each other. I measured their radiations with a multimeter, and I realized that the third type of radiation could most easily be archieved from uranium. I dont remember where I got the uranium wand from, but when I carried it in the house with long thongs, everyone got worried about the unhealthines of radioactive substance, but I knew the risk wasnt too big unless I'd stay exposed for too long time. As I prepared to connect the wires of the hangers with the uranium wand, I got a bad feeling that I would mutate to some sort of beast in the progress, but I thought it wont actually be that bad anyway, and connected the wires.

I wasnt mutated, but instead I got a huge electric shock from the wires, and my eyes got filled with red and green haze for a while. It suddenly got colder, and as my vision returned, I noticed that I was standing in a purple and blue field of an alien planet. I walked for a few steps, wondering about the clear night sky and geometrically curved mountains at the edges of the field, untill I stepped on something soft and sunk into a shallow underground hole. The walls of the hole were glowing yellow, and I started to panic as I noticed that they sent slow, yellow balls of light into my body. It begun to feel warm, but I dont remember anything for a while.

Later in the dream I had got to know a russian-style civilization of what seemed like brown werewolves. They had a war against the emperor of the planet, and one of the war machines I saw was a half-ball shaped shiny vechile which was known as Panic Chariot, but the largest threat was an imperial battlecruiser in the orbit around the planet. The werewolves believed I was the chosen to destroy the battlecruiser, and while waiting for my transport to the orbit, my eyes caught a comic magazine lying on the ground. I picked it up and readed it for a while, finding out that it contained lots of mermaids and goat-taurs. The fights with bows and arrows lasted several pages, as there were several pictures of every action in combat, some of which seemed completely unimportant, but apparently their idea of good entertainment had developed differently than Earth's entertainment.

I dont remember how I got to the battlecruiser, but I headed out to block the supply of energy from its engineroom. The room had a large machine with three two-meter wide transparent pipes heading halfway through the room, and though the back wall of the room was missing, the air didnt seem to get out into the space for some reason. I shruddered from the unpleasant memory as I noticed that the engine used the yellow balls of light for propulsion. I grabbed myself a large shield and walked to one of the pipes to block it, when the emperor of the planet came to stop me. He had a large grey shield with picture of a red head of a lion on it, and as I had to hold the shield to block the yellow lights, he got easily behind me and prodded me with his shield, sending me into the tube towards the ships engine. My shielf fell and the yellow lights touched me again, but now I felt a real enlightement.

Suddenly I understood that the planet was a living being, and the werewolves were actually nothing but animals, which the planet had raised to intelligence to fight the empire that was harmfull for the planet. That explained why the werewolves had castles and other primitive structures while the empire had spaceships, and I also understood that the planetary consciousnes had charged me with its own energy in order to give me more strenght when I needed it, and now was the right time to use that energy. I jumped against the emperors shield, and started to glow with the yellow aura as I hurled the emperor backwards. His shield fell as he stumbled over, and he showed great fear as I grabbed him and threw him through the tube into the ships engine. His screaming was cut short by the scorching sound, and as the smell of charred flesh filled the air, I woke up.

I've returned three months later to Lapinjärvi(1). We're all here, we all know why. There's the usual greeting, laid-back chatter and overall hanging around. It's already October but it's still warm enough to go outside wearing only a t-shirt. That's where we are, outside, sitting on a golf course-like rolling lawn in what I know is midday but somehow is without sunshine. Some are smoking, others are already getting up.

One of us is apparently dead. He was buried here, but he shouldn't have been. We're here because of him, and will continue to be until he's not. Therefore we have a purpose. It's a good thing there's a doctor among us. I'm the self-proclaimed biologist.

The most eager of us make our way to where it apparently is. There are trees over to that side, and the rolling lawn continues quite far down until it changes into a field. On a slight knoll is where we stop. There are no marks in the grass. The doctor knows it's here.

A few guys take shovels and start digging. I cringe, fearing that he was buried without a coffin and whatever's left of him will get mauled by a shovel thrust a little too far. I breathe a sigh of relief and realize that I was clenching my fists shut when one guy's shovel strikes wood not too deep into the ground. The rest of the digging is quickly done.

This exhumation is no crime. He needs to be cremated. They found a will. That was his last wish. They made us do the dirty work, like they always do.(2) But we know there's an incentive. We can go after it's done.

Once we pick it up, we're in the trash shed.(3) Not in Lapinjärvi, though, but where my mom lives. The coffin, made of simple, thin planks rests right in the middle of the floor. It looks surprisingly small. Someone's got a crowbar, prying the top planks open.

I don't dig corpses.

This one's not bad, though. The long hair is there, the glasses. He's a little blackened on his neck, but since he's fully clothed there's not much evidence of rot. It doesn't even smell bad, because now the biting October wind is blowing through the loose shed. Most people are crowding around the exit; I'm standing at the far end, and can only see the corpse partly.

Someone lights up a match. They're going to do it right here. Why do it anywhere else, though? I take a brisk few steps toward the exit, stealing a look at the body. I don't dig corpses. The match hovers above the coffin. The guy is ready to drop it. He's waiting for me to get past. The doctor looks in through the exit. Why is he in on this?

The match drops. The body is dry, the clothes catch fire. Soon the flames nuzzle the sides of the coffin, rough unprepared planks. It's all so coarse.
I'm the self-proclaimed biologist. I say out loud that there's gases in the body, it might do some strange stuff.

It sits up. I don't even flinch: I know it can happen. Sometimes they even burp. Others push through the exit into the fresh air, but I watch along with a few others. My eyes are fixed on the coffin, on the small and slow flames. Then it happens. The eyes open just as the flames reach its upper torso and neck. Its shirt starts to ripple due to the heat, and its neck tilts slightly to the left. In a mockery of a mockery of a crazed look it begins to screech.
The flames engulf its head, but the white, unseeing eyes clearly visible in the lenses of the eyeglasses are fixed on me. I close my eyes and clench my fists shut. I don't want to see it, hear it, smell it. I want nothing to do with it!


6:01 am.

Some explanations:
1. Lapinjärvi is the place where Finnish men, if they choose to become consciencious objectors instead of completing military service go to for a month of "education."
2. There is a prevalent belief that most civil servicemen complete menial tasks that qualifies as busywork.
3. A shed with a wooden structure supported by metal beams. It contains large plastic trash collection bins for various kinds of household waste.
4. The Finnish word for nerd, "nörtti" is much less like a zombie-type moan than "nerd" can be. I remember noting this immediately when I woke up and realized I might as well get up then.

Josh and I had to act out the Shakespearean play "Hamlet" while skating in a half-pipe.

When we were done, I was shoved under the floor to a room with a big, golden-teethed rapper. I had to rap word for word against him, and I was holding my own, until Aubrey came into the room.

She was wearing a short black skirt and a black mesh top. She teased me by lifting up her top and flashing me, then when I lunged at her, she ran away giggling.

There's more but it has passed from my awake mind...

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.