• Cold Prickly:
    I came into work and they'd reshuffled the desks, instead of just having my screen facing the doorway, now I was pressed up into 4 square feet. I could see Natalya's screen from there and horrors! she had an Everything2 account with a picture of Lauren Hutton on her homenode.
    My boss walked over and asked me for some stuff. Stuff I've been working on for the past three months, only I haven't been working and I have nothing to show for it except for Monkdom on E2. I mumble some shit and promptly throw up in the doorway.

  • Warm Fuzzy:
    Sitting on the couch and I am wiggling my toes.
    It's dark and cozy and you smell nice and you feel warm.

I was nine months pregnant. I was waiting to be taken to the hospital. For some reason, myself and several other pregnant women were waiting at what looked like a gas station from outside, but was actually just a room with rows of nice, comfortable padded benches for us to sit on.

I remember the feeling of being so round and full and heavy. Almost like I was ripe.

I was pacing (as I am wont to do during times of stress) and I decided that I had to go to the bathroom and it could not wait until I got to the hospital. So I went into the bathroom at the gas station / waiting room, expecting it to be a normal dirty gas station bathroom. When I went in, I saw that it was actually a really nice bathroom, very clean, with a large bathtub. So I decided that what I really needed was a bath.

I filled the tub and got in. I was running my hands over my full, round stomach and noticed that, for some reason, I could feel the outline of the baby's head, very, very close to where the baby was supposed to come out. (For some reason, I guess I had no pelvic bones, otherwise, how could I feel that?)

Anyways, I called my mother into the bathroom and laid down and gave one push and the baby came out. I remember telling my mother that it really wasn't that hard at all, why do people complain about it?

She wrapped the baby up, a boy, and put him down on the carpet beside me. In that sudden, shifting way of dreams, the baby had a full head of hair that looked just like my love's, and my love was there beside me talking to the baby. I was filled with incredible feelings of love and joy.

Then I woke up. *sigh* What a happy dream.

  • Attack of the nuclear alarm clock: This was partly a dream and partly a bit of somnambulism. For some reason, I thought the alarm clock was a bomb of some kind. What was odd is that it was somewhere between 2 and 4 am (depending on what time I added two hours to the damn thing), and the clock hadn't gone off yet. I tried to defuse it, but I just managed to hit the sleep button, which turns on music for 59 minutes. This made me believe that I had very little time left in which to work, so I desperately tried to open it. In the process, I removed the snooze button, which is the only way to turn off the music. I tried covering the speakers to shut it up, but eventually it woke me up. I fixed the thing, but I didn't realize I had set the clock ahead two hours in the process, so it went off at 6am instead of 8am.
  • Laser pointer from hell: This was more of a recurring image attached to some kind of dream, but I only recall the image. I think I was perfecting some kind of hyper laser pointer, which was actually able to be used for cutting. To test it, I was cutting people's heads open, from the top of the skull straight down to the neck, at which point the head would fall open, but cauterized. Creepy.

Maybe it's mean to hide a kitten in a puppy's butt, but they both seem unharmed by the minor ordeal.

Dreamt that my legs were suddenly and obscenely hairy.

I was so shocked I actually woke up.

The Weirdest Dream

I was sitting on the floor at home playing video games when all of a sudden the walls flew away. No explination, no visible cause. Then the floor floated up and I was flying hundreds of feet up. As the floor tilted I slid across it almost falling each time. Finnaly, I fell. As I was falling I noticed the floor doing a U-turn and coming back for me. Right before I hit the ground the floor was there and caught me. As the floor flew in came closer to a mountian and it landed.

At the foot of the mountian there were a bunch of letters with arms and leggs standing around. They all called out to me "Will you lead us up the mountian?" I agreed and started to lead them up the mountian. One by one they fell off until we reached the summit the only one who had managed to stay was 'Z'.

When I got there I was instantly transported to the forest where I was bitten by a squirrel and shrunken to the size of a peanut and eaten by gnomes. However I was still alive wading in the stomach of the gnome. I went on the long journey through the digestive system and when I finnaly started to see the light...

and I woke up.

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