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  • When we got back to the house Pete and I sat in the car for a minute listening to the radio, trying not to laugh. It was cold so we ran to the house.

  • An intensifying machine. If you were sure you had a good heart you could volunteer to be processed into something stronger, so you could protect her.

  • Watching myself in the mirror trying to button a shirt that used to fit. We were telling his parents tonight about my pregnancy and I knew he would be no help. Nothing I tried on fit, and I was getting panicky.

    I read my old diary which was blocks of painted wood. Confusing, not even I could follow it. I stared at my sweater sleeve and wondered why I had bought it; there were little beads woven into the fabric; dumb.

    I asked the jury about my baby and they threw the biggest pearl into the river. I thought it was old-fashioned but was patient with them. Their answer was confusing and contradictory, because the pearl had floated then sunk. They gave me a green ring which I put on. My father was screaming about "don't put it on like THAT!" but I didn't know what he meant. It was beautiful and almost matched my nail polish, which I took as a sign. But it didn't fit, and I took that as a sign too.

  • This time when I went back in time to my wedding day, I decided to go to the church after all. Usually I just didn't show. It was horrible to see all the people I'd disappointed. I ran through a crowd of whispers and stares - none of them knew me very well, but they knew I was supposed to be the bride, and they knew I was in jeans. I made James come with me and ran out. I don't remember what I said to him but it was very common-sensical and convinced him he'd be better off doing non-love things for a while. I offered my dad - I knew he'd love to go fishing. We raced down the snowy sidewalk to the river and I got tangled in hanging branches, so James won. When we got there he went down to check out the river and I stayed on the bank scooping up spare change. A man pulled up and kept rolling his car up and back. He may have been Kiefer Sutherland but I don't really know who that is. He was creeping me out so I told him to go the hell away. He laughed. I threw dirt on his car and ran.

  • At the apartment complex there were shallow canals instead of roads. Dusik rode her motorcycle through them, sending up giant waves. The kids shrieked and ran after her. Flo was confused.

    A tall gorgeous girl walked past, talking to her sister. "No, you put it in the cabinet by the stove. Remember? When Mama was making another baby?" I asked her what she meant and she said her mother had just finished making another one, three in a row. I knew she didn't mean triplets and I knew it hadn't taken nine months per baby - I had the sense that this woman could make a baby in a few days. "At least one of em's meant for the dumpster."

  • Sadie being a dumbass again

  • At Pete's house but I don't know where he was. When I woke up Debbie was there, and offered me legos. I accepted. I apologized for falling asleep every time I came over. Her dog liked the blue pillow I had brought. We talked about Pete, but I don't know what we said.
  • Two weddings! My sister and I are bridesmaids in both of them, though all i see in the dream is the aftermath of the first and the preparation for the second, which is three days and a lot of travel later. We're tired and travel-grungy, and my dress has been buried in my bag for three days.

    I step into the shower and someone else is using it. Oops! She swats at me.

    Everywhere we go, my sister has someone else proposing to her. They're all fantastically intelligent friends of my brother with grandiose plans for inventing world improvements. I end up in a fist fight with one when i tell him that he shouldn't take her seriously, as he's the third person she's been engaged to that day. Ooh he's mad. But i kick his ass.

    The architecture here is really soaring but echoes a lot: everything is noisy.

    I'm surrounded by preening girls and i can't find my shoes. Or my hairbrush.

    I guess this is the psychic residue from my trip finally making it through all the sludge that's been layered on it since then.











    Damn alarm clock.......

    A tubby grandfather figure, more of a jolly salesman with a gut really. He was wearing a brown suit which I was touching up the shading on around the edges, similar to when you erase on a school picture and it lightens. His job was to provide a Western and Christian face for China. The thing was that the Chinese did not like the guy, I did not like the guy, nobody really liked him. He was something of an ass, there was no structure or substance behind the facade he put up.

    I was in this house with some other people, mostly kids I think. It was a modern house in a european location, maybe Switzerland. Then outside in the woods nearby, in a treehouse, however the woods felt stifling in the darkness and we decided to leave. We went back to the house, however it was not the same house as before, location shifted mostly. Our parents decided to have a potlatch and we were told to go and play. Mounting bikes, we started to ride away when I realized that the right handlebar of my bike was slipping down. It kept slipping further and further, I turned around and went back to the house to fix it. Vague muffled parent party sounds sifting from the basement as I found a wrench and went back to the porch to start repairs. As I stepped out onto the porch, I saw a train passing through the street in front of the house. It was rolling on tracks that I knew had not been used for a long time, I was very curious. Watching the cars go by, there was an odd assortment of rusty old worn down boxcars and sparkling new modern container cars which were a plastic yellow. As I looked down the moving line towards the origin, I noticed that It was actually formed of two different train lines merging into one. Watching the process, it looked complicated and precise. The two source lines were alternating launching a boxcar at the merge point onto the unified track at a high rate, everything was so perfect that the merge was smooth and tight in the manner of interlocking gears. Amazed, I moved closer to investigate. There were several train workers overseeing the operation, and they were willing to talk with me amidst their calculations. Blueprints, diagrams, and calculations were scattered all about. The wonder inside me grew as I understood that the timing must be just right so that the cars hitting the jump at the end of their track and hopping onto the new one would not smash into each other and cause an enormous catastrophe (a precarious balance?). They never once made a mistake, and invited me into the engine on a testing track to demonstrate why. We backed the engine up from the launch ending of the track, and then reved up and accelerated towards it. Hitting the ramp airborne, gliding, and landing crisply on the waiting rails at the other end of the gap.

    Okay I know I'm lost to everything forever now. I've started dreaming about you guys. This is short and simple:

    Wintersweet was like this like gurl who was giggling and skipping around me. She told me that someone here (everything) liked me. Then she ran off. Man I have really got to stop eating cheese at night or something..

  • LucasArts special edition: LOOM on CD-ROM

  • A huge gathering at the mall, the beginnings of some major class trip. They gave out sandwiches made from leftover salmon, but I had other sandwiches stowed away in the locker room. On my way there I was accosted by two little YCM kids; I tossed one onto the floor with a clumsy judo throw and kicked the other in the chest. I moved on.

    I was trying to convince Samus Aran to marry me. She was retired from the bounty-hunting business, a single mom perhaps, and working as a librarian. She was just wearing her battlesuit for a charity fundraiser. She took off her helmet like she does in Metroid, and she had glasses on underneath. Her hair wasn't even purple.

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