And Another Thing I Can't Stand: Miscellaneous Bitchoids from the New Scum Lexicon

First thing people sometimes ask me is "Spider, why do you hate it here?" At that point, I have to tell them it's because after I raped their cat and taught their younger son how to properly polish his crank, I've really been a bit goddamn bored, mostly. Then to make the point, I usually have to disjoint them in my bathtub with a chainsaw (electric chainsaws. Best thing to happen to public opinion in this country in years) to ensure they don't breed.

I supposed I could simply ask them what the hell it is they feel so cheery about. Problem with that approach is that they then seem to want to tell me, with great enthusiasm; by the time they're done, I tend to be hunting for a gas-powered version of the chainsaw to get the job done quicker. Plus, I can just light it up when done to finish the job.

Let's start with the Middle East. Oh, sure, it's all horrible, it's terrible, it's the worst thing in the world. Let me give you one example of the depth of the problem here; when our resident Western World Official Infosewer interviewed a witness of a recent massacre by a lone Palestinian gunman, the witness had to stop the story and say admiringly something along the lines of "You know, I have to say, the way he just walked into the gunfire firing his pistol...he was a hell of a man." The speaker in question was an Israeli Jew.

The depth to which this mode of discourse, the one with high velocities and kinetic energies, is submerged into the culture of the region (all of them) is just frightening for all those of us wuss-type American-born haters who think it's a good day when we get to videotape cops beating the living shit out of some slacker collegiate with a Scientology textbook. News flash: It's not news, except for the fact that for once the Pigs are doing their fucking job and attempting to discourage the Old Scum from walking the streets where us new variants have laid claim with our asses. I fully support the beating of Scientologists; if they're able to swallow the unbelievable amount of crap they appear to and pay for the privilege, why don't we just tell them it's a taxpayer-sponsored Shiatsu session? They'd probably line up to stick their goddamn heads under the batons.

Back to the point. The Middle East. I'm not gonna tell you I have answers to that shitstorm; it's outta my jurisdiction. I will, however, tell you that it has gone far to expose the level of sewage to which the leadership of this country has sunk. I will tell you this because despite it being roughly as obvious as a turd on a bed of rice with a radiccio garnish, The Media appears to think it is, in fact, Chef Louie's brand new entree and worthy of fawning adulation.

The President of the United States, who (so they tell us) has passionately and single-mindedly been prosecuting a responsive, effective 'war on terrorism,' apparently managed to go visit his ranch in Texas for the weekend, and managed (in addition) to ditch most of his handlers for the day. Natch, this is when the more intrepid members of the shit squad catch him with cameras. Sitting on the porch of his house, he opines that the situation over there is just terrible, and that while it's just awful, someone should do something about it, but it probably shouldn't be us, and that the Israelis have a right to self-defense, while the Palestinians do have legit me, it just kept going, the gush of inanity.

Well, that didn't last long. The news hit home, and the Red Phone was yanked off its cradle like a male toddler being babysat by a Catholic Bishop- Call the handlers, they left him alone again.

Next day, there's the President, talking in stentorian and unyielding terms about how enough is enough, trying to open the first campaign of the Semantics war by dubbing the actions of the most recent desperate morons as 'homicide bombing.'

When interviewed, White House staffers told this shitrag that they were 'appalled' and 'surprised' by (get this) not the President's turnaround, or even his initial waffling...but that he'd been left twisting in the wind without a net in front of media.

Think about that.

Leader of our country. Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces of the world's most powerful nation. His own team is petrified by the thought of letting a reporter get to him with a question on the biggest topic of the past couple of months and having the President answer. Oh, sure, this engenders confidence.

It's a cruel and fucked-up world where that coke-snorting sumbitch can command the kind of brainpower that they do admittedly have running around the White House - especially when it's all being wasted, as it apparently takes the efforts of several hundred to make the man smart enough to chew gum and not spit it on the floor when done.

In the immortal words of an unsung man in a ridiculous film, "I weep for the future."

Happy April. I hate this place. Hate it with me and maybe we can change the fucker. You can treat me as a crank and ignore these writeups - but you're gonna get the government you're asking for, then, and you'll think what we got now is a goddamn circle-jerk of a picnic.

-Spider Jerusalem

The past few days have been some of the most amazing and painful of my life.

Flew from Cleveland to Chicago to Tokyo to Bangkok. Thirteen hours in a plane in economy class is just painful for someone of my height. Not quite suicidal, but enough to make me want to scream. Thank goodness for the showers in the Tokyo airport - best use of $3 that I have ever spent. Ever.

Arrived in Bangkok late last night, went with my classmates to our hotel, and then out for really cheap, good food. I don't think that this city ever sleeps. And that is a good thing. Good food, cheap, and good beer, too. A comfortable place to be - unlike my other travels, I really feel comfortable here.

Today, wandered around the city with the class. Saw the world's largest gold Buddha. Had some wonderful food from vendors on the street. Was pelted with water. Ended up at a new years festival where we were pelted with water, covered with some sort of white powder, given great food. It was wonderful. The look on peoples faces, celebrating the new year, dousing the white guy and putting flour on his face - just wonderful.

Tried Durian, tried a bunch of other food that I cannot name. All of it good.

Today was one of the most amazing days. Had such good times, ate such wonderful food, all in good comany. What more does one need? Why do I worry, why am I so nervous at home?

At last, I am happy

My daylogs: previous, next

Ok - this has pushed me over the edge. I'm at work right now. At the cube next door the cell phone started ringing. 5 minutes later my neighbor just left crying. Her mom just died.

This is rather unsettling all on it's own. But death has been following me everywhere. Last night, my wife was telling me that her mother is moving to Steelville, to stay with her father to the bitter end. My grandfather-in-law is dying of cancer.

The night before that I had dreamt that my sister died. It was a long, vivid dream (nightmare) with an unexplained death and a long funeral. It was disturbing enough that I considered noding it in the dream log.

The day before there was a huge accident on my way to work (in Jacksonville at Kernan and John Turner Butler Boulevard). A man driving was distracted by his children, when he slammed into the car infront of him. This, in turn caused the struck car to cross over the median into oncoming traffic where the driver was killed. The children and oncoming driver where airlifted by LifeFlight. Shortly after the airlift, rubber necking had slowed traffic to a standstill. A Wells Fargo armored car could not slow to a stop in time and caused another four car pileup (inclusive). I never heard if there were more fatalities.

The beginning of all these strange coincedences was the day before that the lady, Darby, who lives above me (in Apartment 4) died. Kim was napping when firemen started banging on our door, when she opened it they rushed in, but then rushed back out, "Wrong apartment, ma'am."

Later when I came home, there were cops milling around gathering statements, or filing reports, or quelling rumors, or what have you. At that time neither of us knew what had happened. Later on, we went out of sushi. When we came home we ran into some people on the stoop.

"What's going on?" Kim asked.

"Oh, I'm Darby's sister. She's died. We're just gathering up some things. She's been sick for a long time."

The weird thing is, Darby was maybe in her forties. She had a son named Chance. She never seemed too sick to me. She was skinny though.

Addendum, April 14, 2002
Today while I was in the shower, Kim came in a little worked about about a dead kitten in the back yard. She needed me to bury it. And so it continues...

Addendum, April 15, 2002
I pulled up to a stoplight today and saw an injured seagull flapping about in the intersection. As a reached a complete stop a transit bus screamed by destroying it. :-(

A Saturday of:

- Rain;
- Friends away from their computers;
- Anxiety/excitement in going to France..

I'm exploring new people
went out on a few dates
going to see girls in France
and Florida
and elsewhere this year
hoping and looking for something

No longer in my heart
is the past
the mistakes
and regrets

Giving time to grow
into myself.

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