Findings:
- "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
- It was late when he came home; it woke you up
- You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
- Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
- When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
- He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
- So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
- He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
- The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
- What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
- It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
- The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
- When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
- The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
- When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
- I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
- Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been
- we woke up to find you gone. well, said the city, we still have the river.
- times when i have said: i wanted to write
- Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
- and when you woke up, your goldfish bowl was empty?
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- All of us have looked up to an older kid at some point
- When the principal laughs so hard he can't suspend you
- It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
- Zip him back up, he sucks.
- He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
- When you move here we will have plenty of time to have fun together
- Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
- He made a felon of himself and ended up a box in our spare room.
- When a man lies he murders some part of the world
- He is so heavy when he whispers
- a bad day is when I lie in the bed and think of things that might have been
- We have met the enemy and he is us
- A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
- And since the games are said to have gone, we are waiting for the war.
- When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
- The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
- The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
- The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
- He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
- Man's desire to blow shit up, and to have a nice attache case
- He Said, She Said
- He will have the taste of warm ripe fruit in his mouth
- When they say "Gotta have it!" they mean it!
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- I have been alone while I was with many girls
- because I have given up any care
- By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
- Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
- Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
- Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
- We told you when you were hired that you would have to work on Saturday
- Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
- Stoned music memories
- Front porch, what should have been said
- Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
- If a frog had wings, he wouldn't kick his tail when he jumped
- I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
- Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
- Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
- All he left her was alone
- Show me your art and I will consume even the smallest part of you, he said.
- you know he said
- She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
- All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
- People only enter relationships to have extravagant break ups
- When I too long have looked upon your face,
- Things that have never been said in the entire history of man
- I love you so much that I have to break up with you
- People have fucked up before
- If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
- See a penny, pick it up and all day long you'll have good luck
- Who needs love when you can have death?
- i have messed up. i am a horrible person.
- Baptist fear of dancing
- when all the white horses have broken free
- when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
- Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
- he would have laughed
- Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
- When I have female children
- and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
- when even the plants have abandoned me
- Times when you MUST have a smoke
- He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
- He said 'tentacle porn', so I stuck my dick in a toaster and went from there
- It's hard to find a cure for a brain disease when you have a brain disease
- I write you, when I can't have you near me.
- Who needs genetic cloning when we have The Gap?
- Who needs another person when you have yourself?
- As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
- An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
- He Was a Crook
- She grew a little older, while he was telling her
- He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
- "Shut up," he explained
- He had something to say. He said it.
- I cried when he threw away the paper towel on top of the microwave
- Tom, He was a Piper's Son
- Mr. Potato Head Sprouted. He got moldy. Now he's all dried up, but he's still up in the cabinet.
- It was 1992. He smiled.
- Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free.
- I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
- He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
- Sitting close enough that he gets the idea
- Even as he watched the sea rise up like anger
- He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
- She lights everything up. He glows in the dark.
- When he became an old man
- He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
- St. Lucia in This Guy When He Died, Man
- He said I'm better off without you, 'til I showed him my tattoo
- He wakes up everyday, puts an empty gun in his mouth, and pulls the trigger.
- He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
- he listened so well, he was still curious.
- More than he was willing to give
- Why beverage cans have concave bottoms
- It was one of the worst things I have ever done
- Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
- That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
- A time when a gun might have been helpful
- You should have killed me when you had the chance
- It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
- When we have reached the end of time and light
- I would have liked thunder when she left
- When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
- I have a face I cannot show, I make the rules up as I go
- When people ask "Where are you from?" I have to think for a minute
- So long Arthur Miller! Who do I have to look up to now?
- Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
- They have a trendy name for every different kind of fucked up.
- For White Girls Who Have Considered Afro Hair Products/When the Conditioner is Enuf
- How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
- When living we have need of Death
- When I have Fears that I may Cease to Be
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- Dreamy things people have said to me
- I have made up a name for my disease
- What you should REALLY do when you have too many votes on your hands.
- I have always wanted someone to say to me what you just said
- I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
- When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire
- Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?
- By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
- I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
- The word that means "I acknowledge this thing you have just said"
- somehow I felt hopeful, as if I have finally found a ragtag army of fellow fighters, none of whom cared what socks I was wearing
- he would have cried
- They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
- By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
- nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
- The ancient Egyptians have nothing on us when it comes to cursed tombs
- Shouldn't Have Said That I should NOT have said that
- He said, expecting the answer no
- I was wrong I didn't have everything
- He's been places they have not.
- "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
- BQN: He said. - Epilogue
- if I was doing it for compliments I would have stopped a lot sooner
- I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
- I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
- In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
- "Takeoff?" he said. "Can we handle that much torque?"
- I married him because he was not mean
- At least he was gentle
- Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
- He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
- He stretched out his arms but she was not there
- When Chopin finished a piece he stopped writing it
- "Fill it in", he said.
- I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
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