Jesus of Nazareth (4
BCE - 30
CE). Born, most likely out of wedlock, to
Joseph, a carpenter, and
Mary, a teenager. Despite what
Catholics and
Fundamentalists might try to make you believe, the
Bible strongly implies he was the eldest of several children born to the couple
1. Little is known about Jesus' life until he was about 30 years old, at which point he stopped being a
carpenter and started being a
prophet. Having been an adherent of the
Pharisee sect since his teens, he preached a more radical version of their
creed, expanding on the traditional
Pharisaical notions of
resurrection and
interpretation of
the law. His opposition to the practices of the
Temple leaders of his day made him unpopular, and the
Sadducees loathed him still more. (His brother
James was subsequently assassinated by them by
stoning2.)
In about the year 784
AUC, during the governorship of
Pontius Pilate, Jesus went to
Jerusalem, feeling that he had to make his message more widely heard, even if it were to cost him his life. In the short period that followed, Jesus started a
riot in the outer court of the temple in protest against the mercenary acts of the authorities.
Caiaphas the High Priest bribed
Judas Iscariot, one of Jesus' close friends, to track down the prophet. Jesus was arrested and tried for
blasphemy. Pilate was unhappy about the verdict, but being a
weak man did not attempt to overturn it. He tried to get a popular pardon for Jesus in honour of the approaching
Passover, but at the instigation of Caiaphas, the crowd demanded the
terrorist Jesus Barabbas be released instead. Jesus bar-Joseph was taken and executed by
crucifixion at a place called
Golgotha or
Calvary. He died fairly rapidly by the standards of crucifixion victims, and was buried in the tomb of
Joseph of Arimathea.
The above is, if not indisputable, at least fairly widely accepted.
Were he working today, Jesus would very likely be preaching against the church authorities who persist in maintaining sexist employment policies,
televangelists who make money at a rate the temple moneychangers would have envied, and all the bigots who 'confess and call themselves
Christians' but screw the world up for everyone.
Jesus is also seen spelled 'Jesu', 'Iesu', 'Yeshua', 'Y'Shua' and 'Joshua'.
I love the non-subjective nature of Webster's definition.
1: There's no word for cousin in Hebrew, and although the gospels were not written in Hebrew, it is possible that the 'brothers and sisters' references mean cousins, as the speakers (where the expression appears in reported speech) would have been speaking Aramaic. I don't personally believe so, but it's fair to note that this is another reading. Thanks to lordsibn for the pointer.
2: According to Josephus, James was 'delivered up to be stoned'. Hegesippus claims they tried defenestration first, and then stoned and clubbed him to finish the job.