Findings:
- I didn’t know why it took girls so long to do their makeup until someone showed me how to dismantle the patriarchy with an allen wrench and a roast chicken ballotine.
- Things are looking up, so I'll just stand here and wait for a satellite to fall on my head
- If we ran this back an infinite number of times across infinite existences our souls would still never connect, so don't regret.
- I knew before I met you just how we would end
- so concerned with doing things the right way, we never learned how to understand
- How long can any one heart be so confused?
- I'm just so tired of waking up all alone
- She had never kissed someone so old.
- Dust mop so magic she can not believe how fun it is to clean up after people
- Just as it could not imprison itself with laws, impoverish itself with money or misguide itself with leaders, so it would not misrepresent itself with signs.
- we never really fight, so I don't know how this is supposed to go
- What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
- I've never seen a glacier up close, but I've touched your hand. It felt so cold.
- Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today.
- Over and over it would rain so that we could not dig the body up
- The streets were washed fresh with rain and a warm wind blew as I showed up to everything just barely on time.
- Her hair, tangled
- The Devil went home crying and Jesus never even showed up
- Is any man so daring as to dig them up?
- They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
- How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
- How to check the coolant, and what to do if it is low
- I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
- How to love someone who is mentally ill
- How to set up a formal table
- How to hypnotize someone
- How to tell a girl just wants to be friends
- How to set up and operate a road checkpoint
- how to bring up sex in a conversation
- Using Dao Yin as a martial arts warm up
- How can I need kisses I have never felt?
- Beating someone severely
- How the Portuguese Made a Superb Auto-De-Fe to Prevent Any Future Earthquakes, and How Candide Underwent Public Flagellation
- How can someone worship a dead naked man nailed to a cross as their god?
- How to get people to clean up their core dumps
- How to urinate standing up
- How to walk past someone you work with in the hallways at the office
- If I didn't ask, I'd never know (how much you hate me)
- Windows XP won't start up - how to fix it
- How to pack someone out of your life
- How to scare the shit out of someone
- How to comfort someone whose parent has died
- if you knew how much I love you, you would run away
- How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
- Oh Ricky, how come you never kissed me?
- Ken Lay
- How Gauss quickly added up the numbers 1 to 100
- Helping someone learn how, and why, to appreciate text
- How to hold up a bank in Pig-Latin
- I was never any good at maths at school
- Just how perfect was Jesus?
- These papers do not show what I have done
- Show your work, or, how my math abilities started to decline
- How Pikachu would sing "A Bushel And a Peck"
- How to declare someone dead
- How to harass someone who doesn't even get online using IRC
- Forgiving someone
- How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
- So this is Christmas. And what have you done?
- How to pick up hot red-headed chicks
- I just won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
- How to tell if someone loves you
- Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
- Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
- How to pick up Sheilas
- A private mirror to show you how beautiful you are
- How I almost got shot all up full of holes
- Call her up, tell her how love is not a question.
- How Much for just the Planet?
- Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
- I would kiss you, but I don't know how to kiss
- How to pick up a dime with a forklift
- Never tell your housemates you know how a computer works
- A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
- Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
- He's not a bad person. He's just done some bad things
- Just how old is James, exactly?
- Done up like a kipper
- I never wanted to burn any bridges. But I did want to light some fires.
- Holding up a bank in Latin
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- How to Play any Guitar Chord
- How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
- How would you understand?
- Never imagine you have any idea what you're attracted to
- How to pick up women
- Backing up your Windows registry file
- Do you know how many times you've woken up at 4:15 with deep insights?
- How to connect any cellular phone to a modem
- There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
- How to make roses open up
- Show your dog some much deserved respect
- Just How You Feel
- Knowing how to sleep with someone
- How long would utilities last if everyone disappeared tomorrow morning?
- Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
- How come there aren't any recreational suppositories?
- Show Me How the Robots Dance
- How to solve any number sequence puzzle
- How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
- How Hume would respond to Descartes
- How to be a jerk and piss off your SO
- How to insult someone using calculus
- When time travel in science fiction just doesn't make any sense
- How to lose your temper, your job and any last traces of respect for Management
- How soft your fields so green can whisper tales of gore
- Avoiding sexually transmitted disease
- How to learn any skateboarding trick
- How to tackle someone
- How to speak to someone in a noisy room
- How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
- So you wanna build a showcar?
- How to behave at a Japanese sword show
- Never trust a machine more complex than a knife and fork
- Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
- Opening a command prompt in Windows
- Reloading pistol ammunition using a Dillon progressive press
- You'll never know how much you've changed me
- how to simulate any random variable by tossing a coin
- Archived E2 FAQ: How come the site goes down so much? (document)
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- another "poem" about unrequited love and how it fucks up your everything
- Just when scratch pads couldn't get any better... (document)
- So - you've been making love to me ten thousand miles away - how tantalizing.
- How I found peace staring up at the moon from a gutter in my dreams
- How to turn any number into a 9
- I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
- how to stop someone's massive bleeding from the femoral artery
- Your girlfriend will never forget how adorable you were the first time you went
- How to liven up a party
- She told me I looked like a Henry, and this is how she would know me
- Bitches done tore up my IALAC sign
- How do you know when someone's your best friend?
- I Came Out Here To Have A Good Time And Honestly I Am Feeling So Attacked Right Now
- You see what they've done to you? You see how you're really hiding, in all that light?
- How my plans to sell someone's soul on eBay were foiled
- What I never did is done
- Kids' opinions: How does someone learn to kiss?
- How come we never dated?
- How to ruin someone's life
- How to pick up men
- What is it like to have a crush on someone?
- How would you like it if they took your subculture and made it a theme night?
- How to tell when your dog just wants to be friends
- How to get your stuff voted up
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever?
- How it would happen
- How to tell someone it's break time in a high noise environment
- grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
- How to crack root and not get caught
- How to disappear completely and never be found
- How to stay up all night if you've been up all day
- I hope there is someone in your life to tell you how beautiful you are
- Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
- How katyana nearly killed someone else masturbating
- Just because it's Usenet is no excuse to forget how to punctuate
- How the inside of the mind would look from a purely abstract point of view
- If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
- How can something so incredibly beautiful be so incredibly wrong?
- How to ride a bicycle up an escalator
- Oh, so that's how it is
- because I have given up any care
- How to set up and record an EEG
- How to f*** up
- So how did you two meet?
- Movie trailers are not effective as advertising
- How to set up a home network with a PPPoE DSL connection
- Just how is this arousing?
- How to solve any Rubik-like puzzle
- How to hurt someone with a TI Calculator
- How did I end up here?
- how to set up and use a microphone in Windows
- How Would Jesus Drive?
- How to get someone to stop playing that one song over and over
- I have never been sure that you knew quite how much I loved you
- How to hook a TV up to a computer
- How to beat someone at "pick a number"
- How to show a sheep
- How to interview someone
- How the Union and the Confederacy stacked up at the beginning of the Civil War
- How to unsubscribe someone from a mailing list
- If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?
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