Unless, of course, you don't mind having your freedom and privacy interrupted for the rest of your natural life by someone's printer breaking.

When I was in first year, I was in a residence. My computer didn't like the Novell Netware software very much, and so I had to mess around to get my own configuration working to use the university's network. Everyone else had been given brand new computers (almost all laptops) by their parents, and as such these brand new, n00b-friendly machines happily accepted the PCMCIA network cards supplied by the computing department.

Having been on the internet for the last five years, I was happily on usenet, IRC and everything else (Team Fortress Classic with a 50ms ping wasn't discovered til later) much to everyone's amazement.

Soon, I was in the other guy's bedrooms, showing them how to find pr0n on the internet. These poor, naive bastards would actually believe banners promising "free lesbian dutch teen bumsex mpegs" and I soon left them to enjoy the fun that is "free" "cracked" "backdoor" password sites (with added pop-ups!!).

I wasn't out of the woods yet, and was soon technical support guy for the whole first and second floors of the building. Printers out of ink, wrong resolution, how do I download this video of a girl taking a load on her tits... all came to me. Except the blondie chick upstairs, who had an iMac.

In second year, I escaped to my present house... but still had fun having to show people basic things like copying files over (you'd be amazed how many students keep their entire lives on a single, unreliable, vulnerable floppy disk) and, when a new laptop arrived, internet and... yes... more pr0n.

Third year, same house, new housemates, I had to put together my housemate's computer for her. I have had to play dumb on numerous occasions just so she won't get new programs which she thinks she needs but will demand I show her how to use. Realplayer, for example... that's a nightmare for even experienced users ("wtf has happened to my file associations?!?")

I know it's a bit cruel, but I'm entitled to have a life and not just be constantly running around holding someone's hand and showing them how to do everything. My catchphrase to my housemate has become 'what would you do if I wasn't here?'. If there was a BOFH's nightmare, it's her.

Moral of the story? Play dumb. Be l33t but only behind closed doors (and curtains)

And don't even ask me about my parents trying to use their computer. My Parents Suck at Computers... but I still remember my father insisting I direct him rather than simply letting me do the task for him. Don't you smack my hand away from the mouse!

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