There are more of these.
- The Pictures on Mommy's 'Fridge Programmer
The moron who's too smart to waste his time jumping through silly hoops like functional decomposition, commenting, indenting, naming variables descriptively, etc.
Most of these are students who are still young enough to know everything, but a few of them escape into the wild. I once worked with a witless jackass who used variable names like var1, var2. I had the vast and heartwarming pleasure of seeing him fired on my recommendation. I was hoping he'd use us as a reference (muhahahaa!), but he wasn't that dumb.
- The Lascaux/Altamira Programmer
Everything's got to be a command line program. In C. Never mind that the project is big enough for OOP to be a necessity rather than a convenience, and never mind the fact that the customers won't pay us any money for a command line program.
Some of these are so damn good that it's worthwhile to put up with their shit. All good programmers are neurotic anyway, so BFD, y'know?
- The Marcel Duchamp Programmer
Some people think everything can be done by wiring together third-party libraries ("we don't have to worry about architecture, we're using RAD"). To the extent that they're right (more than I'd care to admit), the profession is dead and buried. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but I'll sure hate having to get a real job.
Heh, somebody softlinked "Get a Life
", which is a valid commentary but think about it . . . If programmers had lives, you wouldn't have Netscape
. We do serve a purpose, however repulsive
we may be to watch :)