Today at work, someone came up to me and said, "I was told that you smoke, I'll give you a dollar if you'll give me a cigarette." At which point I gave him a blank look because I do not smoke and do not know anyone who would tell him that I did. I thought maybe it was the new girl, so after affirming that I did not smoke with the guy, I asked Angie if she told him that.

She gave me a disbelieving look. "He asked me the same thing!" she exclaimed. "He said 'the girl at the counter told me you smoked!'"

Curiouser and curiouser.

We determined that he probably uses that so that smokers who don't want to give up a cig can't just opt out and say "I don't smoke." If one professes to have been told you smoke, you can't back out of it without sounding like a dork. Unless, of course, you're truly baffled by it like I was. What a freak!

(Unless Amy in the café told him that. But then, why would she tell him that both of us smoked when neither of us does? Odd.)

My new manager is what they call "operationally compliant." That translates to "follows all the rules that make no sense and cause lots of unnecessary work for everyone." Like keeping the back door locked, which makes no sense since everyone has to go in and out of that door six times a day and EVERY trip then requires a manager to escort them back there WITH keys. No sense! None!

My 1,000-calorie diet continues; it seems I have more room to breathe today. I think the difference is cutting out fruit juice from my lunch, since it's so high-calorie even though it's good for you. I should just drink water and concentrate on getting the nutrients through my solid food.

Today's menu:

1 peanut butter granola bar: 120 calories

1 English Muffin: 120 calories
1 apple: 80 calories
8 Wheat Thins crackers: 65 calories
1 Chips Ahoy cookie: 53 calories

1½ cup salad: 15 calories
2 tablespoons Miracle Whip: 70 calories
1 tablespoon Heinz Ketchup: 40 calories
(I keep having this every day . . . no more 'cause the salad supply is gone, having gone bad. Can't have this snack again until I replenish.)

1 hard-boiled egg: 75 calories
2 strips Morningstar Breakfast Strips (fake bacon): 60
2/3 cup carrots & peas: 50 calories
1 packet oatmeal: 100 calories
Last time this tasted like ass, so I'm trying it with milk this time.
½ cup skim milk: 45 calories
¼ cup lite syrup: 30 calories

That makes my grand total of calories today 923, with 77 to play with. I think I already used it up snacking on that high-calorie cake I baked last week . . . I nibbled a few bites of it, but that is a lot since a TWELFTH of the fucking thing is 270 calories or something. Ugh.