An interesting thing happened at work today. One of my
minions, a young man named Marcelo, was struggling with the fact that the things he wanted in
life and in a relationship were changing. We talked about a date he had gone out on the night before, and how it had bothered him that the guy he went out with was a bit on the eager side to
hop in the sack. I was no stranger to his tales of going on dates and doing just that, so it surprised me a bit when he expressed his angst. He proceded to explain that sometimes he wished he could date someone more than twice before having sex with them because he invaribaly lost his respect for the person if they
did it too soon. He also complained that he wanted someone who would put up with his
little idiosyncraises, but would not be afraid to put him in his place when the time was appropriate.
I told him I could relate.
It's not that I've spent time turning tricks or anything, because I haven't (although many of my friends tell me that I just haven't gotten in touch with my inner slut yet). I just realized early on that I wanted more than a roll in the hay, and decided to take the high road when it came to looking for someone special. I looked at Marcelo, and I said without a trace of irony in my voice, that he was simply growing up inside.
Perhaps I'm frustrated because many people our age (we're both 23) haven't really figured out what they want yet. I'm not blaming them for this. We're young, we're not supposed to know everything. But it does leave an empty carvern in the hearts of the few who dream.
I did something I don't usually do today. I went to Target with the purpose of buying a new DVD--no, that's a lie. I went to Target to see if a certain boy was working today. The DVD was just a mental excuse to justify to myself why I was going there. So there I was, walking down the aisle, and wouldn't you know it, I almost knocked him over. I said hello. He recognized me, and instantly I turned into a giggling catholic schoolgirl and had to excuse myself before I got too silly. I made it over to the DVD section and picked out a copy of The matrix because I just know this is one of those movies I could watch over and over. Right Brain kicked in as I was walking away, and reminded me that I had a pen and paper in my backpack. Before I realized what I had done, I had walked back over to him and given him my number.
He said he would give me a call.
What's really silly is that I got lightheaded and fuzzy after I stepped outside with my purchase. Now, the only thing running through my head is that stupid 80's movie in which this guy who works at Target sneaks a girl in after hours and they cause a ruckus all night long. For some childish reason, I really want to do this with him.
God help me, I'm regressing into the state of a teenage girl.