In the end the question that would remain unanswered is,
what is love?
That which you let go and it comes back? Is love a boomrang? Or that which you didn't let go from the moment it looked into your eyes? The one you fought for? That which left a bitter taste in your mouth when it ended (coz it shouldn't have, it was supposed to be the "real thing")? Or that, which you find yourself again in arms of every time the last one gets sour? Does love has a shelf life? An expiry date? Care instructions? Is it what makes you smile in the mornings? Is it being someone's last call of the day? Is it constant work? compromise? Is it doing things "that" make the other happy? or things "to" make the other happy? Or is it about one's own happiness?
Is it perhaps, within? Is it the part within me that keeps me from self destruction even when I fight argue disagree with myself? When I'm running through conflicting ideas, fighting with my own thoughts? Isn't that what love is? Acceptance, absorption, being 'one'.
Ardhanareshwar - "A half women God", it's one of the ways Shiva-Parvati are worshipped as. The idol/painting has one individual, with right half Shiva, and left half Parvati. This is what a couple is supposed to turn into - 'one person'. One individual. This is what I grew up learning. There is a period of understanding, fault tolerance, cutting each other slack, but that is the easy part. There always, sooner or later, comes the 'hard part'. When the nice little things are not the most beautiful things in life. When small disagreements take long time to settle down.
There always comes a time when the two just don't see eye to eye. When the two make conflicting requests from each other. They both want to help, they both want to take care of the other, but it is not possible. The requests are conflicting, there needs to be a middle path, but there might not be any.
"Do you think it doesn't hurt me that you don't listen to me anymore or have you stopped caring about my hurt?"
"Is there anything I do anymore that doesn't hurt you?"
Do you pack your bags and leave? Just because it's not 'your own self'? It's someone you used to live without, you surely can again ... but can you get up one day and let one part of yourself tell another part that we disagree, enough is enough, let's split? You want to give up cigarettes, but the craving keeps you bringing back ... to a lesser extent perhaps but does. You want to start to drive safely, but every once in a while you speed and you hate that, but you can't help. Do you split in two and walk away? Can your heart separate from your soul?
Or do you remain 'one'? Fighting your own conflicts from within. Remaining one, finding ways, solutions, answers? Do you hang on? Look at the other as a half of your own self?
Why do you stay? What makes you want to?
"Perhaps because you have touched my perfect body with your mind ..."