If you are a smoker and want to quit, here is my suggestion: Quit smoking all the ones that taste like shit. Every time you light one up, take a couple of drags and then ask yourself, "Does this taste good?"

If your experience is like mine, you will find that there are very few cigarettes each day that really taste good. Mine are the two or three that I smoke with coffee in the morning. The next one that tastes good is the one after dinner each night. So, for several years now, I smoke three or four cigarettes a day. If that kills me, then I'll be glad to thank them for their great taste for all these years.

What I've noticed during these lean cigarette years is all the people smoking who are hating the taste. You can see that look on the face of the girl in the car next to you at two in the afternoon who is smoking 'cause she's pissed off at her boyfriend. You see the guys at the bar smoking one after another 'cause they think alcohol makes them smoke. You even see people smoking on a hot summer day when they are already burning up; you've just got to know that this is the worst one of all.

I know it's a bad habit and you want your little buddy in your hand. In fact, buying a pack is sort of like picking up twenty little friends at the store, isn't it? But try chewing gum or chewing on a toothpick instead. Being considered a redneck beats having lung cancer in fact.