This is actually a weeklog entry for me, since I've been, uh, preoccupied. Just a bunch of quick flashes here, things that happened to me this week that I thought were of note:

Flash--The image of him, the perfect lover, above me, beneath me, around me. He knows where to touch instinctively. He knows all the nice and naughty things to say to me, without me having to tell him. He knows how to cuddle, he knows how to growl. He knows and that made this last week full of the most rewarding lovemaking in my life.

And now he's gone.

Flash--Phone rings. I answer and it's my old employer, the one who laid me off a couple of weeks ago. They want me back. More money, more benefits, more stock options. I'm the only one they want to bring back.

I'm still mulling this one over.

Flash--I'm sitting in the sumptuous living room of a man who's one of the most powerful in Hollywood, drinking coffee. He tells me there's a market for people like me to fulfill. Executives like him retire, he says, and since they're used to having people do things for them, they don't know much about computers and the Internet. He wants me to teach him, then them. He sees a chance to start a business to fulfill this market's needs.

And he wants me to start it with him.

Flash--I'm at the local 7-11 to buy some cigarettes, and I notice a car full of teenage boys. They're obviously just passing through my hometown on the way to elsewhere, but I'm struck by how much my gaydar is going off.

Sure enough, there's a gay pride sticker on the car. And yet none of these guys are over eighteen. They walk with a sexual swagger that you don't normally see in people their age. They're confident, brash, they're not afraid or ashamed of who they are, and it's evidenced in the way they carry themselves.

I'm pleased that the world has changed enough so that these boys can so openly be who they are at such a young age. I also wonder if there's not an attendant loss of innocence or shame or fear with that openness. I wonder if someone so young really understands the weight of being this particular minority. They might live their entire lifespan in such a free world. Then again, they might not. I fear they won't be able to cope if something should intrude on their perceptions of gay life.