"Come on you cunt! Let's have some Aphex acid!"

You didn't actually believe Richard D. James was packing it in, did you? Retirement (which in RDJ's case, probably consisted of laying around smoking weed with Luke Vibert and making tracks like Windowlicker's "Equation" for his own personal enjoyment) simply wasn't going to pacify Mr. James, who hasn't had the catharsis of a full LP since 1996. Critics were starting to take trance seriously. Did you think Rich would let that stand?

It probably wouldn't hurt his wallet to fulfill his Warp contract either.

"Once upon a time there were three bears: Mummy Bear, Daddy Bear and Baby Bear."

As Aphex Twin began to surface from the depths of isolation earlier this year, the rumors swirled. Rich was supposedly releasing a 4-disc album. Or he was going to release some old unreleased stuff, like the wonderful Analogue Bubblebath 5. Or he was already releasing music, under pseudonyms (wouldn't be the first time). A million fake Aphex tracks surfaced, mostly thanks to Napster. The pessimist had to believe that all these bullshit rumors were simply belying the fact that Aphex Twin was over.

"Happy birthday, my little son. My little 28 year-old son!"

And meanwhile, Rich was publicly playing the ocassional DJ set, trying to sell some Rephlex records. (Surfing on Sine Waves) was re-issued. He gave a rare interview or two, spread misinformation, and let it be known that he didn't care much for the hundreds of thousands of fans waiting for his next move. Typical Aphex stuff.

"I'm taking control of the drum machine."

Well then, let the rumors end. drukQs is the new Aphex Twin double album. It is the most anticipated electronic release of the past five years by the genre's most critically acclaimed artist, and it meets every expectation of brilliance. Do yourself a favor and buy it when it comes out in October; it's not a mere electronic album, it's a personal tribute to the quickly fading culture of Cornwall. It's a masterpiece, both in its electroacoustic ambiance and its desperate melodies crying out over frantic beats. The music is awash in unspecific but intense emotion.

"Thank you for your attention. Bye!"

(wanna know what the title means? read it out loud)