Afraid we are all going to have to do this all again, and again, and again, that the universe is fractal or a torus with a few too many dimensions that eats us up and spits us out for all eternity.
Afraid that everything that has happened and will happen co-exists at the same "time", that the photons that hit our eyes come straight from the source (big bang) and since no time has passed for them, what we see is... I don't know.
Afraid that the old crazy LSD hippies saw a glimpse of the truth and deviated somewhere I'm not sure I want to be.
I'm afraid that I'm right.
Afraid that the maths is backing this up.
Sometimes I want to try LSD just to see what all that maths looks like, afraid that I will be the old crazy LSD hippie, afraid I already was and will be.
Afraid to let go.
Now, eternity is only scary if you're not high as a kite on life, a while I came up with a nice saying, which I'll have to paraphrase: "You are the lens through which you see the universe", so if I listen to myself, I just need to cheer up.
I know how to do it.
But misery, my old friend, is so sweet and comfortable.
Wasting day after day I'll soon snap out of it an old man.
Might have to give life another crack.
Not tonight though, not tonight, I'm not ready for life just yet.
Your every action makes the whole world either worse or better
I feel insincere adding hardlinks to logs, so I think I'll stop