I'm sorry. I was distracted by the lovely circus tent in front of me.

What was the question?

In all seriousness, any woman who asks this question with any regularity needs something other than reassurance...like therapy.

For the nth time: Insecure women are no fun at all. Zip. Zero. Nada.

Wonder why men tense up and begin to tremble in fear when you approach with a dress and "Does this make me look..." on your lips? It's because we know that constant questions of this ilk are a sign that nothing we say will ever assuage your worries. Since most men thrive on successfully fixing problems, this presents us with an emotional black hole, with someone we love and care about at the center.

Please. If you want a quick opinion from us, ask. And then take our answer for what it's worth: the snap judgement of an article of clothing we will never wear and which inhibits our access to your naked form. We're not gonna give you the answer you want...because we don't know what that is; and even if we did, you wouldn't believe us.

Honestly, you don't really want our opinion. If you did, you'd have us pick out your clothes in the first place. We're happy as long as you're wearing something that is mostly clean, isn't see-through (except when we're at home...then the more transparent the better) and that allows us to leave the house in some semblance of a timely fashion.

We want you. The wrapper is incidental. I promise.