I've slipped into "
Lebowski mode" (Think
Jeff Bridges in "
The Big Lebowski"). Wake up at 3PM, stumble out of my house in a bathrobe, frantically trying to light a
cigarette. Between jobs, not a full-time
student anymore, nothing to do but
Slack and wait to hear back from my
resume submissions. My friends back here at home know how to party, and the
mini-raves and
freak-outs that punctuate every weekend only serve to
blur reality further.
I feel like I'm slowly falling asleep, over the course of several weeks. This wasn't how it was all supposed to end. I'm supposed to be in school, playing in the marching band, organizing Counterstrike matches between the dorms at Uconn. Instead, here's starting the Rest of My Life, and it just seems too soon (it IS too soon, two years too soon). I feel like i'm fading out. Not because I don't go out and party anymore (because I do), but because there just dosen't seem to be a point to it all.