It's 2018. The internet has changed. For one thing, everyone is online these days. So why is everything still so hard to explain?
Me: Ack! I've levelled!
Them: Oh, what are you playing?
Me: Er... it isn't a game. It's a website. It's e2. It's... like a website for writers. And writing.
Them: Oh yeah, you've been doing that for years, right?
Me: Yes. Almost the whole century, in fact.
Them: Cool! So do you write, like, novels and stuff?
Me: Nooooo, I'm writing something factual right now! See, I'm writing a bio of this person.
Them: Oh, it's like Wikipedia!
Me: Nonononono, it's like... *sigh*...
(Scene change: a documentary opening with dramatic music and olden days footage of people falling out of cars very quickly)
Me (as Narrator): Many people do not realise that Wikipedia did not spring forth fully formed from a badger's head. In the late nineties, many formats were trialled and few succeeded. Back on Slashdot-
Them: What's Slashdot?
Narrator (me): It's... it's what we used as Reddit before there was Reddit.
Them: What, like one of those bb message boards?
Me (narrator): NO! Everything2 is not a bbs! Look, how long have you been on the internet?
Them: Oh, since the early days, yeah! Myspace!
Me: Here, have a look. This is e2.
Them: Where are the comments?
Me: You can make two comments. One is up. The other is down.
Them: But didn't you say you have friends? Where do you make friends?
Me: By using the chat function, right here on the side! See!
Them: Why there are no pictures!
Me: I can write anything I want to! Fact! Fiction! Poetry! Self-referential nostalgia of questionable historical value!
Them: There are no emojis!
Me: I can make someone a cup of tea!
Them: How do you update your relationship status?