I know I’ll remember his
absence. I scold myself for aiming to be alone and for ending up full of this
nothing and I hold my face at night when no one is around to
pity me and I cry for no reason…”
Tears, Idle Tears…” and sometimes they are idle.
His
voice causes so many changes in me, and through him I can see myself, determine my
faults and attempt to repair them. He means so much to me after so little time, and of course, I denied it until I smiled at his eyes and I
melted and was lost…
When did I write it in
stone
that I was meant to be alone?
I don’t remember ever doing it, but something inside me is screaming, like a red traffic
signal, but all reds change green eventually, do they not?
Standing by the
waterfall, I threw dog wood
petals into the
water and thought about their legend with
Jesus, and watched them disappear as I prayed to the
blueberry sky that he would come home and be the same as he had been when he left.