It's that time of year again. The time that I hate more than almost anything, pledging. Nothing but stress. I'm the Head Educator for my fraternity. I get bombarded by problems with the pledges, the process, what they're learning, what they're not. Everyone in the frat feels so strongly about all this, and they all feel that their opinion matters a lot. Don't get me wrong, their opinions do matter but I'm the one they elected to be in charge. I'm the one elected to lead this process, and I tire of criticism. I tire of their nitpicking. "Why can't it be like this?" "Why can't we do this?" "Why are you doing that?" I thought my brothers had a sense of who I was and how I like to work, and here I am recieving flak about it. People have been saying things they shouldn't say. People have been doing things that they shouldn't do. All this does is make it that much harder on me.
My girlfriend isn't helping the situation either. I've always been one to go with the flow, to just be cool and be happy. She's in a sorority, and she knows that I'm in charge of my frat's process. She knows I'm stressed and yet all she seems to do is bug me. She does the same thing my brothers are doing now, just giving me more shit than I need to deal with. "Why don't you spend time with me anymore?" "I don't think you love me as much anymore." "How come all we do together is sleep and fuck?" I can't spend time with her, I'm busy making sure my fraternity lives on for another year.
I thought she'd know this. I thought she'd be supportive. This is the girl that I love, the girl that I want to marry. And she knows this too. I don't understand why she feels she can't believe these words. I've told them to her a thousand times, if not more. I don't ask for much out of our relationship, although soon I might have to start asking for peace. PMS can only cause so much bitchiness.
Needless to say, I can't wait for pledging to end. I cannot wait to get back into the normal swing of things. I want her to be happy. I want my brothers to be happy. It's like juggling nuclear warheads. It is a delicate balance and rhythm, and if you slip up a little bit, it means certain doom. I don't like walking the tightrope, but for the time being, I see no alternative.