A small city (or large town, depending on your point of view) in New Jersey, Fair Lawn may ring a bell if you're a film buff, as Robert DeNiro gives a false address there to a Secret Service agent in Taxi Driver. (If you're wondering, yes, Hopper Avenue does exist. Are you talking to me?)

Fair Lawn contains several 24-hour businesses, but not nearly enough. Specifically, it's lacking in the late-night pizza and Chinese food departments, despite that there is no shortage of such establishments that are open during the day. Our IHOP isn't even 24-hour.

Instead of a 7-Eleven, we get a CVS, which is 24-hour, but it's still only a CVS. To get a 7-Eleven you have to go into beautiful, sunny Elmwood Park. To add insult to injury, a location that's pretty much right across the street from that CVS was recently made available when a local supermarket shut down, and they're going to put an Eckerd's drugstore there. What a redundant waste of space.

On top of all this, we have a largely useless police force, and some of the worst designed streets I've ever seen. If you're going to come to New Jersey for some reason, do yourself a favor and avoid Fair Lawn like the fucking plague. You'll thank me later.