I have this friend, (we'll call him "Andre") and despite having been fired from every single job he's ever had, somehow he recently landed a receptionist position at a tony spa along Sunset Blvd in West Hollywood. Since then, every time I talk to him he manages to work in some sort of famous name into conversation. No matter what the conversation is about, he'll turn it into how he had an encounter with some fabulous star.


"With my next paycheck, I think I'll get an Enzyme Facial. They're 135 dollars, but they work wonders. Halle Berry swears by them." Yeah, Halle was discussing in detail her beauty routine with a receptionist at a spa she goes to, probably just before she gave him a ride in her SUV.

"Portia Di Rossi, you know that blond girl from Ally Mcbeal? She came in today, and I swear she was on something, sporting her prada glasses. She gave me the nicest compliment, though." He didn't deign to say what the compliment was. I'm thinking she actually spoke to him instead of bustling past to see her masseuse

Every time he does this I'm tempted to grab him by his scrawny neck and shake him. It would be one thing if his name dropping was at least anecdotal and amusing, but it typically consists of, "I saw --insert star here-- at work today." Why does he think this is worthy of announcing to the world? It's not like he's from some little town in Idaho and has never seen a star before, he's lived in Los Angeles all his life; you can't help but run into Meryl Streep at the Farmer's Market or snicker at Danny Pintauro as he folds khakis at the Gap.

Call me jaded, but what's so freaking special about a celebrity anyway? They're just people who make more money than you and sell tabloids when they're caught pissing drunk in the pool at some party.

In closing, if you work at Brentano's Bookseller and Gwyneth Paltrow comes into buy a book, unless she's buying a Bodice-Ripper with Fabio on the cover or tells you a dirty joke in a bad cockney accent, please... keep it to yourself!

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