Start Again


And the children may be lost. It is the meaning of childhood to be lost and the meaning of adulthood to find the way. Yet, all must wander or they stagnate. This is explained through the generations of this frame. As one year of one's life is a building block for the next, one generation is a building block for the next and one lifetime is a building block for the next lifetime. This is the truth that I give you.

Some years ago I understood this in a different way than I do today. I was concerned then about helping the lost find their way. Then I began to realize that it is a key ingredient of our existence that we wander, become lost and then gradually find our way. There is no way to help someone find their path, because it doesn't exist until they create it. There is no way to build a path for someone else without stealing their right to take up the lanterns of life and step through the darkness.

This does not eliminate our natural desire and ability to help others who enter our orbit. It is simply a reminder that we cannot find others, they must find themselves. You can buy them a lantern and a suit of warm clothes, but the steps they take...

One who is lost can become caught in the circle of the mundane. They are filled with self-doubt, hatred and anger. Only when one attains faith in oneself and in others can they find the way. Then they may wander and there will be plenty.

Anyone can tell you what you are doing wrong and how to do it in the way they have discovered works for them. Thank them kindly and look within. Your personal universe is yours.

The meaning of life is to give everything you can to everyone you know. What you know, you must teach. What you seek, you must learn how to find. To each their own and a blessing on each to their ability.

Those who attack and abuse others are the truly lost. They are very deep in the wilderness and know no other means of survival. A person's soul must change before they can change their course. Too often they not only do not change, they drag others down into the wilderness alongside them. We applaud such things in our society. Movies about getting even and seeking revenge are amongst our most popular entertainment fare. We seek redemption rather than inspiration. This is where we lose the road.

Self-glorification and self-loathing are two sides of the same coin. Either side of the coin fits into the pocket of those who are lost.

Three years passed between my suicide and moving to Orlando, Florida. During that time I struggled with what I had seen and experienced, but I was as lost as I had been before my death. My ego grew massive for some time, as I believed I could do anything. I shamelessly pursued dozens of women and found myself enchanted with my new self. My confidence had made me more attractive and I gorged at the table of lust. It was good, but upon my indulgence I was dissatisfied. The wild, aimless and bohemian lifestyle I lived brought me great pleasure. There were things I did in those days I'll likely never speak of. There is no reason to. I watched time melt away from the clock and friends disappear into the mists.

How we relate to people is an important part of how we travel the road. We tend to assume elements of our relationships with other people based on learned behavior and standards of the collective reality. Men and women continue to have trouble maintaining close, personal friendships because of the overlay of sexuality and mate seeking. People think of doctors, priests and the like as someone they can't go grab a hot dog with. Only by seeing all persons in our orbit as equals can we truly understand and accept them, provided they share in our enlightenment. I will think no more highly of the president of the United States of America than I will of the gentleman who sells me cigarettes at the gas station.

Our own experiences, as well as the overlays of the collective reality, create expectations and perceptions. We zero in on similarities between people we once knew and people we have met. We seek to fill the holes left by those no longer with us, sometimes at the expense of others. The man who recently lost his wife tends to seek someone to take over her role in his life. The woman who lost contact with her closest friend from college seeks someone else with whom she can share and enjoy the thoughts and feelings they once shared. Clouded vision. Each person is a new experience. This is a difficult lesson to remember.

At points in our lives, all of us become lost. We may be lost for short periods of time or for a longer duration. When it comes to being lost, the depth of one's darkness is more relevant than the length of time. The deeper one sinks, the more difficult it is to climb upwards. The slope becomes more slippery and the struggle more difficult.

"Lost" is a state of mind. Those who are cemented into their foundation and build walls around them never see themselves as lost, yet many of them are without a true home. One cannot find the concept of "home" without wandering.

The parable of the lost ship

There was a ship constructed in a small town situated on a bay of blue waters. Upon its maiden voyage, the ship carried only a handful of passengers, most of them members of the crew. It had a successful sail around the peaceful bay and was about to take itself to its dock and celebrate.

A storm came very suddenly, thrashing the peaceful bay with great waves, heavy rains and powerful winds. The ship could not safely dock, and so it headed out to sea to avoid destruction. It became lost at sea, and sailed for many years, stopping at a variety of islands and along the coastline. In the course of its journey, it would pick up additional passengers, until it became a mighty vessel manned by a strong willed and skilled crew. It was not long before the ship carried far more passengers and crew that did not remember the small town with the peaceful bay than those who signed up for the maiden voyage. As time went by, returning to that town became less important to the ship. As a result, it had many adventures and saw many things it would never have seen if it stayed at its dock at home.

Eventually, the ship would return home, and when it did, the town was populated with more people who did not remember the story of the lost ship than with people who did remember. There was fanfare and a celebration, but it was a different kind of celebration than the one planned for the maiden voyage many years before.

We will not come for those who are waiting
We will come for those who are lost
We will come for those who need our guidance
We will come for those who are tired and afraid
We will come for those who wander
We will come for those who seek to be found
We will come for those who struggle
We will come for those wrongly judged
We will come for those we love
This has always been the reason


As always, the words that appear like this and such are not my words but my translations.

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