"Did you know that the day, October 5th 1582 never existed?"
"Did you know that out of millions, maybe trillions, of zebras; alive or dead, none have had the same exact stripes?"
"Did you know its scientifically proven that its easier to sleep if you've been laughing all day?"
"Did you know my nieghbor can speak 7 different languages?"
-no, but thats nice.
"can i hold your hand?"
"can i take you under this bridge?"
"can i sit down next to you, and roll this up for you?"
"or would you rather let me stick this needle up your arm?"
- i really dont know.
"do you mean it?"
-not at all.
"i am the pothead without the pot."
-and theres a revolution going on inside my pants.
"instead of typing 'get happy' on the google toolbar, do this:
-if you are sad, take a cold shower,
put the AC has low as it can go,
stand for 5 minutes without a towel,
and right when you feel you are going
to get frostbite, run to your
bed and get under the blanket,
and know that you are allalone,
and that you can be happy all alone."
i'm going to tell you what i want. right now.
i want someone to be able to tell me,
"its okay. ill be ready when youre ready." "i'll wait at the door."
"i'll write your name on a cigarette and smoke it on the train out of the city. and at 2am i'll realize i dont have enough money to take the train back. so i figure i'll have to rob a gas station. yes you ungrateful idiot, i did this for you."
"i'll sleep on the couch, but im taking the sheets." "just shutup and eat."
"you know what, youre a lazy fuck but i love you."
"i want to have the guts to tell you i dont have the guts."
"its true. youre as dumb as me, and we are not strong."
"its fine, forget it... nevermind. get your ass over here."
"im an idiot and youre a penis."
"you know what?
i'll turn it off for you.
i'll forget. i'll play dead.
i'm here, and you stand out."