"My ox is broken! This is bullshit!" was one of the most memorable lines from the fifth season of the reality TV show The Amazing Race. Uttered by Colin in the last episode before the finale, it stands out in one's memory because of the level of sheer illogic within it.

Colin and Christie, at that time, had fallen prey to the Yield, new that season, and had fallen into last place. They arrived (after completing the intervening task between the Yield and this) at the Detour, in which teams must choose which of two tasks they wish to perform to continue the race. All the other teams had already completed this task, so Colin and Christie could not rely upon observing their opposition for clues on completing the task.

The task they selected was to plow up a field of mud with an ox-drawn plow and find a buried clue envelope, flanked by ropes so the plow would have a better chance to catch it. All teams selected this task. The way that all the other teams executed it was with both team members helping: one behind the ox, guiding the plow, with the other leading the ox.

Colin and Christie had a different strategy. Colin guided the plow while Christie yelled at him from the sidelines. Because the popular expression is not "smart as an ox", the ox tended to wander around the field at random, oblivious to the human trailing behind it and yelling obsenities.

Colin's already-strained relationship with Christie proceeded to deteriorate as she offered unhelpful advice as he struggled. Advice deteriorated into abuse and exponential levels of frustration and irrationality. Starting innocently enough with Colin's "I can't control where he goes, baby", it quickly escalated to Christie's spectacular insight of "There's not much I can do, babe. It's -- it's underneath. It's in the plowed area. It's gonna be deep; that's why you have to really be looking in the plowed area." This flash of the obvious failed to impress.

Frustration increased. Eventually, the inevitable happened: Colin emitted what is quite possibly the most memorable line in the entire history of The Amazing Race: "My ox is broken! This is bullshit!"

Colin was already rather notable for his tendency to be an asshole and his apparently bad relationship with Christie, but this line of his ensured that he would be remembered.

Some apparently short time thereafter, Christie was convinced to squish through the mud to attempt to feel for the clue with her shoes. She found it a very short time later.

From a more philosophical point of view, the quote speaks much for the breakdown in logical thought that occurs when any human is pushed to extreme levels of fatigue. It is difficult to comprehend how a perfectly healthy ox could be considered broken, but it is very easy to comprehend how an exhausted human could be. Within this simple phrase, the essence of The Amazing Race is revealed.


REFERENCES: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race5/teams/colin/bio.shtml http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=76&story=6859&page=15&sort=&limit= (and the next page, as well) Also note that Television without Pity is highly recommended. That's all.

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