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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I was looking for Bid Laden and he gave me a slap"

The day he gave me a lift
He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
he kissed me for a year and a half
The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
My crush asked if he could kiss me
It was 1992. He smiled.
What I would do If I knew what was good for me
You kissed me. It was sweet and timid.
Tom, He was a Piper's Son
He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
He Never Told Me My Eyes Were Like Diamonds
He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
Jesus He Knows Me
Why Doesn't He Ask Me to Prom?
I Was Lost and You Found Me
Death was a part of me then, too.
The thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is
If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
I was put on hold for time to gnaw me raw.
I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
the african violet you gave me
they only gave me trouble anyways
and slowly, stealthily, and half sideways looking, he placed the loaded musket’s end against the door.
My grandmother gave me
When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
He brings me books like flowers
He has redefined me, again and again
He gave her a daisy
some say he was never here at all
Advice my father gave me before I left for college
He stretched out his arms but she was not there
Jenny gave me a leaf of autumn
You gave me wings when you showed me the birds
On a Leander Which Miss Reynolds, My Kind Friend, Gave Me
Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
My purity was little stickers I willingly gave away in exchange for hearts
You gave me your hand, I gave you my fist
Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
Jar of jam you gave me
It was the tree that gave him away.
There never was a body that gave the undertaker a tip
i gave her my heart. she gave me a pen.
everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
Monkey Gave Me a High Five
This node was made for you and me
I Was Looking at the Ceiling And Then I Saw the Sky
For my father, in the event he finds me
got to be good looking cause he's so hard to see
He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
I married him because he was not mean
The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
"This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
he calls me girly (user)
I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
he listened so well, he was still curious.
He that is not with me is against me.
she, he, and me
In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
You Gave Your Love To Me Softly
She Gave Sweet Love To Me
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
She was coming out as he was going in.
For my brother, in the event he finds me
The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
And he noticed my fingers / and asked me if I would play (e2poll)
He was hard in all the wrong places
He Was Only Joking
he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
I will marry only he who defeats me in battle.
Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
He called me Sarah once
At least he was gentle
I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
I was a homeless bum
How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
She was an intellectual prostitute, seducing me with profound truisms
When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
Okay, okay, I confess! It was me! I broke the internet!
I was raised on red pepper and blood. I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
I said I was sorry. Then she looked at me.
Would you tell me if it was true?
The train that came to me in the dream was already a dead train
I put my head down and hoped to God she wasn't looking at me
man when you are telling me how it was
Before you, there was me
There was no one waiting for me...
I was me before being me was cool.
Why I politely asked the contemporary lit major I was dating to stop writing me love letters
She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
Chris and What He Untaught Me
I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
He just wanted to give me something he forgot to give me a long time ago
I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
Stop looking at me
Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
"He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
He made the stars speak to me in Morse Code
He Hate Me
She grew a little older, while he was telling her
He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
He loves me, he loves me not
My brother never told me not to smoke. He showed me.
I will marry only he who defeats me in battle
Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
He Was a Crook
He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
I wonder if he ever thinks about me
He Read To Me The Picture of Dorian Gray
He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
Show me your art and I will consume even the smallest part of you, he said.
Shaymus is older than I thought he was
I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
He taught me how to smoke
he that is not with me is against me
he calls me monster
He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
All he left her was alone
Seven opening lines if he would ever look me in the eye
I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
he tried to kill me with a forklift
he taught me to fly then took away my sky
I fall in love with my migraine, every day he seduces me with a kiss.
The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
I had no idea what he thought about me.
My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me
When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
Somehow he reminds me of my mother
That's Just How He Was
When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
he was a punk poet himself
To me he is a daisy and I keep trying to count his petals
Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
He's not cute, as in good looking, but he's got a cute psychosis
Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
making certain he was touching her
he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
He was found
More than he was willing to give
He cries for me, all these years later. He'll never stop 'til I join him in the grave.
I will marry only he who defeats me in Scrabble
It was late when he came home; it woke you up
The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
I lived in interesting times, came to the attention of those in power, and found what I was looking for.
I was looking for you
I Hear it was Charged Against Me
Someone looking at a picture of me
I met him two days ago and now he wants to fly me to Peru
He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
He makes me feel alone just by being there

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