Here are a few creative ways of disposing of cremated remains. I'll add more if find any.

This service provides:

The launch of a symbolic portion of the cremated remains into Earth orbit

Flight capsule imprinted with personal message

Invitation to the launch event

Personalized video of launch event and memorial ceremony

Dedicated virtual memorial of the deceased on our web site

Contribution to the Celestis Foundation

Performance assurance

Eternal Reefs, Inc. was formed to provide an ecologically sound option for dispersal of cremation remains. By integrating the remains into artificial reefs in various oceans and seas around the world, we seek to provide "Permanent Living Memorials" that are ecologically sound for our environment and cost effective for the consumer.

If you have come by this corpse through foul play and you'd rather not have anyone know that you have it, the best thing to do is to wrap it in a cloth of canvas or other organic material (to prevent dripping), drop it in the bathtub, and pour copious amounts of Drano on it. Drano's whole reason for existance is to dissolve organic material. I'm not sure if it will dissolve teeth and bones, but I suspect so. Jurph has pointed out that lime and lye, which are also highly basic, will work just as well and can be purchased in bulk. If you try this, let me know how it works.

The old fashioned way of disposing of a corpse is very simple and has been done this way for millenia.
  1. Cut the corpse into six pieces, for transportability.
  2. Remove or crush the teeth and clip or burn off long hair.
  3. Drop the corpse parts into a pig-pen with 16 full grown pigs who haven't eaten in 48 hours.
  4. Wait about 8 minutes.
  5. Ding. Done.

Beware of pig farmers, and those who know where pig farms are located.

Thanks to "Brick Top", Alan Ford, and Guy Ritchie.

If foul play is involved, the best way to dispose of a human corpse would be lye. Lye is a substance also known as sodium hydroxide (chemical formula NaOH) and is used mainly in chemistry labs, and in the production of soap.

The soap-making (and corrosive) property of the chemical is what is most beneficial for our purposes.
Take the corpse, place it in some large garbage bags, and transfer it to the trunk of your car. Then, drive the car to your house, and at night when your neighbors won't see you, transfer the body to your bathtub. Now take the body out of the plastic bags, and strip it naked. It would be a good idea to burn the bags, and the clothes. Cover the body with a whole bunch of lye, plug the tub, and fill with a small amount of warm water.

Less than a week later, pull the plug, and the body will be oh-so-much soap and hair. Now all your legal problems are over.

Disclaimer: Don't fucking do this! Seriously, don't! If you do, it's not my fucking problem or fault

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