A date at the local coffee shop is the best place for a first date. Not only is coffee cheap, if one party does not want the caffine, then other drinks that are also low in price are available. Since you will only be drinking coffee, you do not have to worry about food on your face or a napkin on your lap.

Now if this is the first date, you have to remember that you are not there to socialize. The purpose of the first date is to discover first if you like her, and if so then second, what makes her feel romantic. One thing to look out for is the amount of the psycho hose beast within your date. Some give aways are her bringing a male friend with her on the date or telling you that there are guys stalking her. Obviously she knows that you asked her on a date, so there is no reason for this male friend. He will make you unable to properly flirt with your date and shouldn't be there in the first place. If your date brings a guy friend with her, then you should keep up the idle chatter and leave in 10 - 20 minutes. This date was a waste of your time.

Now if while drinking your coffee you discover that this date has more then one guy stalking her, this is another sign that the psycho hose beast is on the prowl. Chances are that no one is stalking her, and these guys that she says are stalking her are in fact ex's which want nothing to do with her. This female is dangerous because if your relationship with her progresses and you have a falling out, she may call the cops and say you are stalking her. this is not good.

Good luck in your coffee ventures.

A Simple and Concise Guide to
Successfully Executing the "Coffee Shop Date"
No Matter What Age or Sex Bracket You Belong To
(In very clear and nearly flawless English)

Always remember that there will be a certain amount of refraction in the window glass that will obscure everything you are doing and allow you to get away with murder.

Choose well. Because you are about to undertake great evil, you must be careful to situate yourself just right and to order just the right things. You will want to be sure that the coffee shop in question has a full liquor bar. You'll want some juice in your coffee because otherwise it could become too bitter. This is where your plan begins.

Now, the first thing that you will want to ask your date after alcohol spirited coffee drinks arrive is whether or not he or she can acquire missiles. The second question, naturally, is whether or not he or she can acquire them quietly and without drawing a lot of attention. Acquiring missiles is futile if you are going to end up being surrounded by law enforcement, military personnel and government operatives.

Now, sip your coffee drinks and mull over the possibility of ordering any food items that may be available. Then compliment your date on their eyes, their hair or their shoulders in order to draw them into your web of deceit. Then casually ask about their amount of credit card debt. If they respond defensively, laugh it off and pretend you were so nervous that you didn't realize what you were asking. Don't go back to the missiles immediately. This is time for getting to know each other. Attempt physical contact. Gently stroke an arm, a leg or a foot. Pause momentarily, then grab the body part you were stroking roughly and twist. Show them who is boss here. Yeah, thats it. You're in charge.

If you are a woman, this is the opportunity to bare your breasts for both your date and the other patrons of the restaurant. If you are a man, choke down the rest of your coffee drink quickly, remove your shoes and yell to the wait staff to bring you another. Quickly. This will prove your manliness to your date.

Look for reading material. A newspaper or magazine is a good choice, but a crappy novel will also suffice. Immediately kick back and begin reading, intently. Ignore your date. After at least fifteen minutes have passed, throw your reading material onto the floor and make a lot of random, jerky movements. Lean forward and stare into your date's eyes.

"Yeah. The missiles. How soon?"

Once you secure that information, and know how to attain the missiles, you will want to torture your date. Spare no expense and never consider their feelings. Choose appropriate means of torture based on the evaluations you have made during the conversational period of the coffee shop date. Afterwards, prepare to dump your date somewhere. Rivers and lakes are excellent choices, but don't forget to weigh the body down.

In the end, you will have the missiles you were after and everything will work out in your favor. It is simple. Most people think dating is difficult, but it really isn't, provided you think ahead and have a good game plan. Good luck!

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