Enigmatic
location which is the storehouse of all corporate
information. Many businesses rely on the central office. If you've lost your
luggage, rest assured that the central office knows where it is.
Best Buy out of
SmartMedia cards, once again, the central office will know when the next shipment is coming in, how many will be in that
shipment, and how much you can expect to pay for one when they do arrive. Indeed this ingenious building is possessed of a vast network of
hyper-quantum mega-computers connected to some
extradimentional space wherein all
consumer or corporate knowledge is contained.
The central office is also the approving entity for all requests of any reasonable
magnitude. Are you waiting for
that
Purchase Order to be approved? Likely it is sitting at the central office awaiting a
signature. Your
Offer
Letter? also awaiting approval from the central office. Indeed, as authoritarian entities go, the central office
dwarfs world leaders in it's
power.
Despite it's importance to the continuation of
commerce in this
world economy the central office appears, from the outside observer, to be massively
under-staffed. This condition causes
phones to go unanswered, and on the off chance that your call is answered, expect to be put on hold for a length of time that will test your
will and your
bowel control. Of course the stresses of working in such an
environment assure that the individual on the other end of the line will probably not be in the best of moods. Also, in organizations the mere size of the central office there is a
significant change that your call has been routed to the wrong
department, if this is the case,
chances are that you will be transfered to another incorrect department where an inexperienced
trainee will be unable to properly answer your
inquiry, lacking even the knoweldge of how to
tranfer a call. Large organizations often have a high rate of
employee turnover, so this type of incident should come as no
surprise.
The central office is often referred to as "the home office" or "
headquarters", however it is obvious to the observer that all of these terms represent the same monolithic entity. When dealing with the central office it is important that you are
patient,
persistent and do not hesitate to verbally express how
steamed the whole
experience
is making you. People working at the central office are so used to this sort of
behavior to a point where they no longer know how to respond to anything else.
let it be known that a group of intrepid
explorers and
private invesitagtors have undertaken the hurculean task of actually locating the
physical whereabouts of the central office. One would assume that the mere size
of a
structure whose purpose is so paramount would make it hard to miss, however, this has not been the case.
further
investigation has uncovered that the central office is, in fact, a disused
shanty inhabited by an elderly
husband and
wife with their pet
monkey and a
Mac Classic.