Bald Dwarf

"I really cannot imagine what it would be like without his fat, ugly presence"

-- Space Moose, on his "friend"

Bald Dwarf -- "BD" for short -- is one of the original characters in the comic strip Space Moose, first appearing in early 1990 strip "Bald Dwarf's Dare". Since then, Bald Dwarf has been anally raped (by his best friends, of course), had his insulin spiked with PCP, had rutabagas forced up his ass as punishment for wishing he could be Leonard Nimoy, and was forced to fellate Space Moose at gunpoint (at the Fellatio Barn, no less).

It's unclear why Bald Dwarf hangs around nihilists like Space Moose and Billy the Bionic Badger. He seems to vacillate between being horrified by (calling the cops to thwart Space Moose in "Take back the night") and enjoying (see "Ready to kick some fucking ass" and "2-to-1 odds on PKU") their destructive schemes. It seems that the more time Bald Dwarf spends with Space, the further his degeneration progresses.

At first, Bald Dwarf was a device for Space Moose creator Adam Thrasher to mock all that was bad in the world, Bald Dwarf's 8-ball jacket, for instance. As his character evolved, BD became the strip's conscience, often acting in a maternal role (trying to resuscitate Marlo Smefner from his heroin-induced coma, for example). Bald Dwarf often sports novelty t-shirts, his favorite being one that reads "HOT ANUS".

Vital Statistics
Age: 26 (as of 1996)
Height: 4'1"
Weight: 161 lbs
Hometown: Grand Prairie, Alberta
Likes: Plato, food, Jeff Foxworthy, surfing the net
Favorite movie: While You Were Sleeping
Favorite saying: "Yes, My Gatekeeper."
Preferred form of birth control: abstinence