| Juliet Capulet was a teenager who fell in love with Romeo Montague. Unfortunately, old man Capulet and old man Montague didn't get along well, and both forbade the two star-crossed lovers to date.
The teenage psyche being what it is (and always has been), this got them seriously hot for each other. Juliet married Romeo in secret, but she realized that her family still wasn't going for it. She took drugs to fake a suicide, hoping to jar dear old Dad into realizing that some things are more important than a family feud.
Boyfriend noticed he was getting the silent treatment from her, saw the empty bottle of drugs, saw she was pale and clammy and not particularly breathing or anything, and concluded that she was dead. He wondered if there could be anything else to do but be dead as well, and he, uh, took a stab at it.
The rimshot woke Juliet, who saw her lover dead beside her -- really and truly dead, not just mostly dead -- and followed suit.
When their families discovered their corpses, they agreed in their grief to end their feud.
Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet tells this story in greater detail, but he probably got paid by the word. So there you have it: the all-too-short biography of the all-too-short Juliet.
Moral: If your kids want something, like a badass boyfriend or a Trans Am or a Playstation 2, let them have it or they'll kill themselves.
Preceding paragraph sponsored in part by the Toy Retailers Association. | 
