Last night (or this morning, as the case may be), I experienced one of the clearest and most intense Love Dreams I've had my entire life. I remember every detail with such incredible clarity.

I was in the bathroom at my parents' house, and with me, was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She had just-above-shoulder-length, slightly curly brunette hair, a gorgeous face and smile, and she was a little taller than me (probably around 5'5". She was wearing dark blue denim overalls, and underneath, a tight-fitting, white, blank babydoll shirt.

We were talking about nothing in particular, and just touching and caressing each other playfully. She said something, stopped talking, and stared at me with her deep brown eyes. I unbuttoned one of her overall buttons, and time jumped to the next morning.

We had both dressed. During, and after getting dressed, we were again, just talking. She mentioned being a virgin the night before, and I remember repeating it to her clear as day: "You were a virgin before last night?" and I remember her saying "I don't know if I should have done that, but I'm glad we did." She was genuinely happy, as was I. (I never actually dreamt the sex act. The best dreams always leave that out in good taste. I just wish I knew if I was good.)

My clothes were piled up on the corner of the bathtub, and I had my arm WAY around her when her mother came in. I quickly pulled my arm back so my hand was on her shoulder, and said "HI!"

Her mother started questioning why my clothes were on the bathtub. My mind was reeling to come up with excuses, enough to say one of them was a bathing suit. She had her suspicions, though she never said anything.

After her mother exited the bathroom, my companion and I looked at each other, and laughed. (For the duration of the dream, she never had a name attributed to her. A shame, too. She was beautiful.)

Later, I left the bathroom, and her mother was sitting on the couch in the living room. I told her I was putting my clothes in the hamper, and that I wish I had a hamper in my apartment. She looked at me funny, and said "You don't have.....a hamper?!" I told her "Well, I have a hamper here, but not in my apartment." She repeated her first question, and I explained to her (very slowly) that I had a hamper HERE, and not in my apartment. She nodded, but I don't think she "got it."

I put my clothes in the hamper, and thus ended the dream.

I'm locked in a room aboard a borg cube with either Jean Luc Picard or John Sheridan (they keep switching) and a few Borgs. The borg are interrogating Picard/Sheridan, but he has an escape plan. He sticks a piece of metal into a panel on the wall of our cell and causes the ship to start a self destruct sequence, which includes opening the door to our cell and causing the Borg to put us low on their list of priorities as they try to fix the ship (or something, since suddenly they are out of the picture). I follow picard/sheridan out the door to find that I'm in some kind of prison wing aboard the ship, with hundreds of non assimilated humans pouring out the other rooms.

We head for the elevators, killing a few borg with our bare hands along the way, and take them to a shuttle bay, but when we get there it isn't a shuttle bay, but some kind of nighttime suburban neighborhood with a little fog for effect. Exiting the elevator we see our targets, a few rocket ships sitting in the middle of some street nearby, but blocking our path are like a hundred borg.

The twenty of us (picard/sheridan and I have been separated at this point) start ripping up the borg using various methods, including but not limited to: killing them with our bare hands, swinging at them with weapons, and (my favorite) removing the little bits from their shoulders that connect them to the collective.

We clear the area (level?) of borg and load into the waiting rockets. For some reason I don't go along with the other humans and I am left waiting for the next set of rockets to spawn (like in quake I suppose, where items and monsters respawn a few minutes after you take/kill them).

As I'm waiting, I meet up with an old friend who's face I can't remember. We sit around for a while in the driveway to my house. Suddenly about 20 borg spawn right on top of us and we have to kill them all by ourselves. We do, except for one who turns out to be George Bush Sr. in borg form.

I start killing Bush with my bare hands, but he has like a hundred times the health that any of the other Borg had. and when I look at him I see his name above his head, Diablo II style, with his health meter bearely moving from full health.

Eventually I manage to separate Bush's head from his body and I concentrate on that, but it's impossible to crack open his skull. I'm like Tom Hanks in Cast Away trying to open that coconut by slamming it against a rock. Eventually I break it open, and a ring falls to the ground. I pick it up, knowing that this must be the greatest ring ever. I use a scroll of identify on it and, and...

I wake up.

Shit, I bet that that ring was really good.

I was George W. Bush's secret counselor.

After a meeting with Very Important People, we were sitting in a very small room together, with only a table between us. He was president already, and I was telling him what he should do to preserve his public image about something. The affair may have been related to politics, and to special actions that should not be known to the public. I was not a CIA agent, but rather a political counselor, a sort of eminence grise who always remains in the shadow.

Note that I am not a Republican. As a matter of fact, I am not even an American, and I have never been to America.

Schemer: at the time you were fighting George Bush Sr., I was working with his son. Strange.

We were in the ocean. My entire family. Somehow we were able to breathe underwater and sustain the pressure in the ocean floor. We lived in a dark cave and one day, we decided to come out. Underwater, it was a rocky terrain, full of caves. Sort of like in the Matrix when they're in Zion. So we ventured out of our cave and we weren't sure which path to take. A giant turtle suddenly appeared (about 4 feet in diameter) and it snapped at my aunt. Luckily I pulled her away and saved her just in time. The turtle swimmed away from us, but oh no! I've fallen into something and I'm drifting away from my family. What's happening? It's dark and there's something in my ear! What the hell is it? It's furry and slimy. I open up my eyes. It's a bichon maltais and he's fucking my ear! What the hell's going on???? Get it out, it's gross!

I wake up trying to get something out of my ear, I can still feel an obstruction in my ear and it's cottony. It's my blanket's cotton thingy hanging out and it got into my ear.

Ewwwwwwwww...

~Resting my chin glumly on the desktop the small white-haired gorilla came up behind me and put her arms around me placing a soft kiss on my cheek. Smiling and feeling much better. aha! the answer to my problem was
Ø = loquita

~ In the parking garage, making a low heavy rolling sound the train drew closer and closer. Looking up there were no tracks. I contemplated helplessly when the engineer cast out a section of track on a large cable from the cow catcher, tailor-made for the missing part and passed safely overhead. After that I left for the party where nobdy knew me.

~St Joseph's had moved their school into townhouses. The faculty meeting was in the activity center. I asked Mrs. Kwader the principal why we didn't have morning prayers and announcements anymore. It made my day go a lot smoother when I knew what was going on. Bette Midler walked through the kitchen area a band for a tube top barely covered her breasts. I was shocked they would let her step into a classroom like that! I wondered why they kept me around as a teacher because I didn't do much of anything anymore. While I was helping the two third grade teaching partners move, they raised the platfom under the kitchen table awkwardly three inches too high and discovered a rotten board in the steps under the staircase. Preturbed the handyman said to ignore his $330.00 bill when it arrived.
I don't remember very much of what happened before, but at one point I was using a device with a monochrome yellow backlit screen. It was a bit similar to a PDA, except that the software that was loaded, showed a spreadsheet-like screen, with names of various religions in the leftmost column, and statements in some obscure programming language in the other columns. The program, apparently, was designed to analyze, using formal logic, the relationships between religions, the sets of beliefs of which they consisted, and their adherents.

In my attempt to make my own entry to try out the capabilities of the program, I found that I was unable to figure out the programming language's equivalent of the pseudo code atheist = has_religion(nil). So, I decided to RTFM.

Before long, I found myself entangled in a TEX typesetting manual. The passage I was reading, described in detail the appearance of a mathematical symbol called a Kell triplet. Roughly speaking, it looked like a right square bracket connected with a horizontal line to a circle, which was connected with another horizontal line with a left square bracket. The circle was supposed to enclose three variables, which the symbol expressed some relationship between. The book read about as follows:

Even with today's computing power, and the prevalence of the Amiga, rendering the symbol as [slightly bold representation, with serifs] may be very expensive1, and is not needed except in printed publications (like this book).

If you intend to send [the printout] to the municipality, this version should suffice: [very thin representation, with straighter lines, and with small, open gaps between the five parts].

In joke collections2, [a symbol very similar to the one before] may also be used.

The different representations of the symbol was inserted straight into the text, but since they aren't included in Unicode yet, I have described them in square brackets in this writeup.

And no, I never got back to my experiment with the pseudo-PDA.


1"Expensive" as in "computationally expensive", was the intention.

2That would have to be mathematician jokes.

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